And for the times I’ve hurt you,
and have made you feel small,
and when life was a mess and
about us you weren’t sure at all.
Don’t take my words to heart,
as for me there can never be a new start,
past haunts me and destroys my present,
its like voices only I hear,
that make me appear insane,
I live with these voices,
that speak of uncertainty,
and sing tales of broken trust,
and lulls a song of doubt in me,
and fill my life with fear.
They cloud my judgement ,
alter my view.
makes me behave the way I do.
I want to make them stop,
but I don’t know how,
And if they’ll live with me till I die,
and if I’ll hurt my loved ones till that day,
why wait so long when that day can be today.
And what pains more is,
its me who’s hurting you,
and I can do nothing about it.
I would have left these voice behind,
only if the would let go of me.
They whisper day and night,
of long ago betrayals ,
and how it’ll happen again.
They tell me , everyone can hurt me,
and they’ll do so given a chance.
They tell me that I’m not worthy of any love,
and should be beware of those,
who promise me the same.
For those will be the one’s who’ll make me laugh,
and make me feel good and special,
and one day out of blue, they’ll change,
and leave me abandoned with few more voices and unhealed scars.
And they tell me that to be indifferent,
lonely and cold-hearted is what I must do,
and never should I gift my trust to another,
for it’ll be a gift thrown away after being misused.
And what hurts me is that,
my fears are gifting you too some scar.
And spreading that same fear in your heart,
and same voices will haunt you like me,
and your scars will remind of the bad person I was.
My fears, my voices will then yours too,
and to protect myself from the illusion of threat,
that the voices create, I fear I’ll hurt you too.
and we’ll both be then broken souls,
who’ll have someone else to blame.
And that I’ll be reason of the pain you’ll suffer,
and you’ll never be able to trust someone again,
That in return of you love,
all I can give, is these voices and these fears,
as its all that I have and is all that I am,
its all I can be and all that I’m left with.
But I too selfish to let go of you,
for you’re the cure to these voices,
and your love, your look and your embrace,
make me feel that all pain is bearable,
And I feel in those few moments with you,
there’s hope, there’s love and there is still a chance left.
A chance to see this world for what it is ,
through your eyes, for once I’ll be what I could have been.