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Monthly Archives: April 2014

“WHERE COLORS MERGE”- Nayana Nair

 

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As a child, they were, a wonder,

The brown stone bridge and the blue flowing under,

The green withering away on reaching the path,

The fiery red flames spitting everywhere its wrath,

The yellow sun, or orange maybe,

The pink that clouded the hands of babies,

The black cold night and the white snowflakes,

When colors had life, that was ours to take.

And today on the bridge I stand,

With withered white dissolving the pink of my hand.

Where went the colors? the wonder?

Now red is just love or danger.

The yellow just a hideous bright color,

The blue is for rain: for eyes or weather,

The green has, now, no space to grow,

Other colors, with time, come and go.

The people too are colored now

In their cheerful oranges,

Or gloomy blue nights.

In the black ashen hearts,

Or in the red gore fights.

In the yellow sunny smiles,

Or the lifeless aged white.

In the carefree green lives,

And colorful soaring kites.

But you my friend,

You my love,

Are very hard to define.

I look hard,

And guess I might,

But I’ll never get it right.

For you are where my judgment fails,

With your color having neither meaning nor shade.

As I stand at this rationality’s edge,

I see

You are, where all my colors merge.

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SO TRUE (Quotes by Jiddu Krishnamurti)

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“You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.”
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“Freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something- and it is only such love that can know freedom.”

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“Do not repeat after me words that you do not understand. Do not merely put on a mask of my ideas, for it will be an illusion and you will thereby deceive yourself.”

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“When I understand myself, I understand you, and out of that understanding comes love. Love is the missing factor; there is a lack of affection, of warmth in relationship; and because we lack that love, that tenderness, that generosity, that mercy in relationship, we escape into mass action which produces further confusion, further misery.”

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“Happiness is strange; it comes when you are not seeking it. When you are not making an effort to be happy, then unexpectedly, mysteriously, happiness is there, born of purity, of a loveliness of being.”

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“We carry about us the burden of what thousands of people have said and the memories of all our misfortunes. To abandon all that is to be alone, and the mind that is alone is not only innocent but young — not in time or age, but young, innocent, alive at whatever age — and only such a mind can see that which is truth and that which is not measurable by words.”

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“I hope that you will listen, but not with the memory of what you already know; and this is very difficult to do. You listen to something, and your mind immediately reacts with its knowledge, its conclusions, its opinions, its past memories. It listens, inquiring for a future understanding.

Just observe yourself, how you are listening, and you will see that this is what is taking place. Either you are listening with a conclusion, with knowledge, with certain memories, experiences, or you want an answer, and you are impatient. You want to know what it is all about, what life is all about, the extraordinary complexity of life. You are not actually listening at all.

You can only listen when the mind is quiet, when the mind doesn’t react immediately, when there is an interval between your reaction and what is being said. Then, in that interval there is a quietness, there is a silence in which alone there is a comprehension which is not intellectual understanding.

If there is a gap between what is said and your own reaction to what is said, in that interval, whether you prolong it indefinitely, for a long period or for a few seconds – in that interval, if you observe, there comes clarity. It is the interval that is the new brain. The immediate reaction is the old brain, and the old brain functions in its own traditional, accepted, reactionary, animalistic sense.

When there is an abeyance of that, when the reaction is suspended, when there is an interval, then you will find that the new brain acts, and it is only the new brain that can understand, not the old brain”

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“To understand a child we have to watch him at play, study him in his different moods; we cannot project upon him our own prejudices, hopes and fears, or mould him to fit the pattern of our desires. If we are constantly judging the child according to our personal likes and dislikes, we are bound to create barriers and hindrances in our relationship with him and in his relationships with the world. Unfortunately, most of us desire to shape the child in a way that is gratifying to our own vanities and idiosyncrasies; we find varying degrees of comfort and satisfaction in exclusive ownership and domination.”

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“Passion is a rather frightening thing because if you have passion you don’t know where it will take you.”

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“And the idea of ourselves is our escape from the fact what we really are.”

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“You are this, which does not satisfy, so you want to be that. If there were an understanding of this, would that come into being? Because you do not understand this, you create that, hoping through that to understand or to escape from this.”

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“One of our difficulties is, surely, that we want to be happy through something, through a person, through a symbol, through an idea, through virtue, through action, through companionship. We think happiness, or reality, or what you like to call it, can be found through something. Therefore we feel that through action, through companionship, through certain ideas, we will find happiness. So being lonely, I want to find someone or some idea through which I can be happy. But loneliness always remains; it is ever there.

If I use you for my fulfillment for my happiness, you become very unimportant, because it is my happiness I am concerned with. So when the mind is concerned with the idea that it can have happiness through somebody, through a thing or through an idea, do I not make all these means transitory? Because my concern is then something else, to go further, to catch something beyond.”

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“Why are we such tortured human beings, with tears in our eyes and false laughter on our lips?”

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“You say you love your wife. You depend on her; she has given you her body, her emotions, her encouragement, a certain feeling of security and well-being. Then she turns away from you; she gets bored or goes off with someone else, and your whole emotional balance is destroyed, and this disturbance, which you don’t like, is called jealousy. There is pain in it, anxiety, hate and violence. So what you are really saying is, ‘As long as you belong to me I love you but the moment you don’t I begin to hate you.”

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“Find out what it means to die – not physically, that’s inevitable – but to die to everything that is known, to die to your family, to your attachments, to all the things that you have accumulated, the known, the known pleasures, the known fears. Die to that every minute and you will see what it means to die so that the mind is made fresh, young, and therefore innocent, so that there is incarnation not in a next life, but the next day.”

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“Life is a movement, a constant movement in relationship; and thought, trying to capture that movement in terms of the past, as memory, is afraid of life.”

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“Beyond all explanations which a good brain can give, why do we choose the worse and not the better, why hate rather than love, why greed and not generosity, why self-centred activity and not open total action? Why be mean when there are soaring mountains and flashing streams? Why jealousy and not love? Why?”

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“The description is not the described; I can describe the mountain, but the description is not the mountain, and if you are caught up in the description, as most people are, then you will never see the mountain”

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“THE DEMAND TO be safe in relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear. This seeking for security is inviting insecurity. Have you ever found security in any of your relationships? Have you? Most of us want the security of loving and being loved, but is there love when each one of us is seeking his own security, his own particular path? We are not loved because we don’t know how to love.”

“VIRTUE OF FOOLISHNESS”- NAYANA NAIR

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Feeling the cold metal at her neck

In the cramped up space where she sat,

She looked out of the window, with her mind

Far way from what reached her eyes.

 

Reflecting, how foolish she had always been,

Foolish for believing people without any doubt,

To hold onto them even if they hurt her,

To accept people for who they are but never accept herself.

 

To have let go of her esteem for them,

To have thought that they’d value her, a fraction of how much she did.

 

And she thought of everything

She had done that led her to this day,

Where people saw her as someone not worth respecting,

For each time she would let go of her pride.

Not worth the effort, for she won’t demand it,

Not worth the love, cause she didn’t deserve it.

 

But as she cried at all the hurt,

The shame, the loss and herself.

With her hand held open

Waiting for a hand to hold it.

She turned her back to the past

That haunted her, that hurt her

To look at him, beside her.

 

And she remembered how she’d

Been more of a fool for him than anyone.

How she was foolish to make

Someone centre of her life,

To love someone more than herself.

For a girl who couldn’t bear

The scars of betrayed little affections,

How could she hope to survive

The love that’d shatter her.

 

For she knew

She was nothing and could mean nothing to anyone.

So how could she mean something to him?

She knew

That if everyone saw her as a liar

How could she expect him to believe her?

She knew

That she’d lost herself the moment she chose love above respect

How could she expect him to embrace her and take pride in her?

For she knew

What she was

She was just a fool.

 

But in spite of knowing this

She accepted the love she’d found.

For a moment she found meaning to live,

And she felt glad to be there

And to have known what her life could have been,

To have felt his love,

To have known that she’ll always be loved.

Anything else didn’t matter

For being foolish was her virtue

That led her to him.

 

And when she felt the warmth of his hands in hers

And saw him smile through all his pain,

She could see that he felt he was foolish to be there,

He was her foolishness,

And she was his.

With the same insecurities in his heart,

He chose to love her as long as he can.

As long as his soul could bear this pain.

As long as his heart could love.

As long as she would love him back.

So they’ll stay together as long as their stupidity allowed.

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“MY STAR”- NAYANA NAIR AND NIKKI

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Stars were studded on ink stained sky,

Like memories and tears making life worthwhile.

Though the stars must have dazzled any mortal eye,

The moon had no care for my hopes and smiles.

 

It refused to shine the path I tread,

That silent street, with kindness dead,

And poems of glory unheard, and unread,

Where my promising future and disappointing life met.

Only a star high in the sky,

Chose to believe in me and kept me alive,

Through hopeless hours

And darkening nights.

 

At last when I found my awaited morning,

It was for the night, the star I had all the longing,

But the star was not to be seen,

As if it had never been.

 

The star that had once shined,

Not for anyone but for me

I’ll bet this life each second, each hour

For a glimpse of that lonely star.

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