I see myself sitting at the crossroads of life.
Scorched under the sun of reality.
Its heat is part indifference
to my existence and my ways.
And part a mocking laughter
at where I have led myself.
This defeat is not about
smashed dreams or tears of loss.
Just an echo of a sound
that has left my heart.
Just a face I know, I see,
But can never be.
It’s not the loss of illusion
that shielded me from what I am.
The dread that whatever life may give me.
It can never give me back the illusion of control,
belief that I can be whatever I want to be,
when I didn’t want to be me.
When I saw myself as amalgamation
of all life’s mistakes and faults.
The biggest attraction in the exhibition
of ‘live’s gone wrong and people gone astray’.
Yet ,I yearn to be the failure I once was.
Once I saw myself sitting at crossroads of life.
Begging people to love me.
Begging for a glance.
Begging to make me believe in myself.
Today, I see myself sitting at the crossroads.
Begging people to give me back what I was.