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Monthly Archives: February 2017

“I can’t hear your sighs” – Nayana Nair

broken_heart_by_alicat2011-d3cg2wx

I can’t hear your sighs

while you think I do not care enough.

I would love to bind myself and my life

around you,

Had I not been so sure

that freedom is the only measure of happiness for me.

kji

The love they talk about

is not in my heart.

I can’t harbor such sweetness.

I can’t live in surrender.

I was not made for that.

My heart was not made to be loved,

but to be cherished.

I won’t settle for anything less.

I do not ask for anything more.

kji

My idea of love was never

the protection or sense of safety I always lacked.

Or admiration true or false

that could put to sleep the complexes I have.

Or to be touched in ways

that make human hearts race.

kji

My idea of love was

to be so precious to someone

that they you never

change me or break me.

kji

You changed me.

You broke me.

And I only remember the sighs you took while doing so.

Making me feel less than what I am.

kji

But still, I breathe the same air as you,

Cause,

Once,

You almost loved me.

List of things I don’t know

images

  • Know when to give up and when to not.
  • Take responsibility of my life.
  • Take steps to become the person I want.
  • Stop thinking about things that do not matter.
  • Think about things that do matter.
  • Accept and enjoy the happiness I have.
  • Not to question every good thing in my life
  • Not to wait for something bad to happen every moment.
  • Accept compliments.
  • Give compliment.
  • Give my opinion on anything to anyone.
  • Believe in myself.
  • Talk to a stranger (even if I want to).
  • Not hide behind my pain as an excuse.
  • Not trying to guess ulterior motives of people (even if they may not have any).
  • Know how much love to give.
  • Not  to be bound by my comfort zone.
  • Try something new.
  • Not be blinded by emotion even if I know I will regret it.
  • Accept my limitations and move on.
  • Not to be awkward around people.
  • Not be self-obsessed.
  • Make a list like this, without getting depressed by it.
  • Eat healthy.
  • Keep friends.
  • Not get influenced by emotional blackmail of everyone around me.
  • Accept my fault/ mistakes.
  • Break out of my habits.
  • Write something meaningful.
  • Love people who deserve it.
  • Declare to world how much of a mess I am (did that right now 🙂 )
  • Continue writing this stupid list.

 

perfect

“I once wrote…” – Nayana Nair

empty_church.jpg

I once wrote a beautiful poem

which sounded like a happy child

playing in an empty church.

The echoes of his laughter and footsteps

playing in a never ending loop.

But I have never been a happy child.

I have never been to a church.

The poem was beautiful.

It was just not me.

 

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