“Slowly, Regretfully” – Nayana Nair

184591777

I am dissolving in the
ocean that has no water
but only salt.
The salt
that is more closer to this earth
than I am.

feff

I am changing slowly, regretfully,
into a form of your liking.
A form
that feels more belonging in this world
than I ever will.

feff

My heart slips slowly
into the darkness inside.
A darkness
which feels more like home,
more like the freedom
that light had promised.

25 Comments

    1. I believe this character is a person, who was never able to feel that he/she was a part of this world, or belonged to it. Some part of the reason would be the realization on the character’s part that he/she doesn’t conform to what other’s want/ expect of him/her. For any situation, there are thousand possibility of how someone can react. I wanted to write about someone, who is trying to fit into the expectation put in front of them. But this results in this person splitting into two person or two face (if that makes any sense, I don’t think it does 😦 ) One part of this person now is according to what everyone else wants. But the other part has taken refuge in the inner world in his/her heart, which is away from the light of world, where no one can see them and they can be whatever they want to be in this world.
      It is not a necessity to change oneself for other. It is just a way some people can feel. When they think that only if they were something else they would face less issues in life. But in reality, no matter how much you try to change yourself, we at the core know that it is not who we are. And we know that even if they fake part of our self is loved and cared for. That love and care does not belong to the self we have hidden inside us. And though it makes us sad, sometimes it makes us want to hide our self more.

      I don’t know if I am making any sense. I am very bad at explaining my poems. 😦

      1. Wow, Nayana. This is a wonderful explanation. I reread the poem now and everything fits. Thanks a lot for this splendid elaboration. I can relate to the situation described. Very well done, indeed.

  1. Beautiful poem. But why to change . The one who loves you , loves you because of what you are. I suppose that’s why parents love is unconditional since they find beauty in every bit of you. Helping to improve the child flaws just to make their child a gem in character..

    1. True. Even though parent’s love is unconditional (not all parents though), children still don’t appreciate it. And that kind of selfless love is rare to be found somewhere else. I am not actually in favor of changing oneself for being loved by someone, but it does happen in life. And I have seen so many people knowingly changing themselves (sometimes they don’t even want to), and end up being in conflict with their own self.
      I am glad you liked my poem πŸ™‚ Thank you πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you πŸ™‚
      Though the poem is mine, but the experience it describes is not completely mine. Though I have gone through something similar to this. But I have also tried to put what I have observed in people around me, what they have told me and how it makes me feel.
      Yupp. you are right πŸ™‚ It is about inner conflict and how our desire to fit into the society and it’s expectation, tears us apart in two πŸ™‚
      Glad you liked my poem πŸ™‚ Thanks a lot πŸ™‚

      1. A good poet describes his experiences well but a great poet makes even other’s experiences resonate profoundly through his compositions!! Must say…Well done!! πŸ‘

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s