“Only She Knows” – Nayana Nair

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She left the door ajar
and closed the curtains as she left,
like she did so many things
that I didn’t ask her to do.
Like so many things I didn’t notice.
Did I fear darkness of the room?
Did I fear drifting into sleep
no longer be sure
that this body would continue breathing?
I feared a lot.
I knew the names of imaginary insects
that crawled inside my mind.
But only she knew how to close my eyes
and close my heart
to the pain and paranoia
that only I could feel.
I woke up to curtains soaking the sunlight
and the sweet humming from next room.
And I didn’t want this humming
to go farther
than this.

8 Comments

  1. Youโ€™re sitting in your car
    The door Iโ€™ve left ajar
    Is it wrong to fear
    You, when you are near?
    I want to feel that dread
    Confusion in my head
    Suspicion and yet trust
    Revulsion and yet lust
    Please. Donโ€™t drive away
    Come here. Have your way
    Not asking to be used
    Just saying. Iโ€™m confused.

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