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“Can’t do this alone” – Nayana Nair

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Hold me back
from loosing myself to the the slow pain
that reaches from within me
spiraling up to any light it can see.
Pushing me, climbing over me.
Not caring.
Needing not to care,
while my body moves
from one breaking world to other,
from one uncertain gaze to another.

As I read my own words aloud,
as I see myself trying to disown them,
to strip away my own image
that I must maintain
for others to be at peace.
I feel the need for the closed boxes of solitude
where I made my own seasons and delusions
where I rehearsed answers to questions no one ever asked.
I don’t want to go back to that place,
the only place my heart thinks of as home.
I can’t do this alone.
This life of yearning and restraining
myself from living my own life.

About Nayana Nair

Hi, I am Nayana Nair. I'm 25. Just a crazy girl who has tons of things to talk about....not much organized thoughts sadly. I like to talk about everything...mostly..every conversation of mine turns into a monologue.... So I decided I should start writing a blog..rather than chat.... I'm very much passionate about music, psychology and literature.... Moderate interest in science..... I always want to be a writer (and also a teacher)..But I don't think I have the skills required...this blog is just my attempt at becoming the writer I always wanted to be...Blogging for few years, I have realized I am more of a poet (although, I am not sure that I am good enough for that label)...I hope I realize more about myself through writing. Thanks for dropping by!! Hope I didn't disappoint. :)

19 responses »

  1. Emotional, and beautifully worded.

    Reply
  2. You really have become a ‘must read’ ….

    Reply
  3. This may be entirely inappropriate. I read your poem and the first two words leapt out at me ….

    Hold me back
    It’s a heart attack
    Baby, I’m about to explode
    I’ve emptied my cup
    My blood pressure’s up
    I think I see the end of the road.

    I’ve had my fill
    Gotta pay my bill
    I might have smoked too much of that stuff
    Never dealt well with it
    Never knew when to quit
    Never knew when enough was enough

    I stand here accused
    It was all self abused
    I cut myself down in my prime
    I’m full of regret
    But I’m not dead yet
    Can we do it just one more time?

    Reply
  4. Pingback: I’m about to explode – Richmond Road

  5. Beautiful. I also feel the need for ‘closed boxes of solitude’.

    Reply
  6. Love the left/right contrast! There’s a great sense of before/after pondering.

    Reply
  7. No words to describe this poem
    It’s awesome Nayana 😀😀 😀😀
    😀
    I think in the so called eight years this is the first time you have used left right alignments
    It’s good
    Keep on writing like this

    Reply
  8. So deep and direct…and I love the structure of the verse. Well done!

    Reply
  9. You and I are similar in this way.

    Reply
  10. Nicely spoken

    Kind regards,

    Reply

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