“Can’t do this alone” – Nayana Nair

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Hold me back
from loosing myself to the the slow pain
that reaches from within me
spiraling up to any light it can see.
Pushing me, climbing over me.
Not caring.
Needing not to care,
while my body moves
from one breaking world to other,
from one uncertain gaze to another.

As I read my own words aloud,
as I see myself trying to disown them,
to strip away my own image
that I must maintain
for others to be at peace.
I feel the need for the closed boxes of solitude
where I made my own seasons and delusions
where I rehearsed answers to questions no one ever asked.
I don’t want to go back to that place,
the only place my heart thinks of as home.
I can’t do this alone.
This life of yearning and restraining
myself from living my own life.

19 Comments

  1. Emotional, and beautifully worded.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€ Means a lot πŸ™‚

  2. You really have become a ‘must read’ ….

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you for such kind words about my writing πŸ™‚ Appreciate it πŸ™‚

  3. This may be entirely inappropriate. I read your poem and the first two words leapt out at me ….

    Hold me back
    It’s a heart attack
    Baby, I’m about to explode
    I’ve emptied my cup
    My blood pressure’s up
    I think I see the end of the road.

    I’ve had my fill
    Gotta pay my bill
    I might have smoked too much of that stuff
    Never dealt well with it
    Never knew when to quit
    Never knew when enough was enough

    I stand here accused
    It was all self abused
    I cut myself down in my prime
    I’m full of regret
    But I’m not dead yet
    Can we do it just one more time?

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      That was fun to read πŸ™‚

  4. chattykerry says:

    Beautiful. I also feel the need for ‘closed boxes of solitude’.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad you liked my poem πŸ™‚
      Thank you πŸ™‚

  5. moyatori says:

    Love the left/right contrast! There’s a great sense of before/after pondering.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad you liked πŸ™‚ (was thinking of trying this out for sometime, I am also glad it turned out well )
      Thanks a lot πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

  6. No words to describe this poem
    It’s awesome Nayana πŸ˜€πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€πŸ˜€
    πŸ˜€
    I think in the so called eight years this is the first time you have used left right alignments
    It’s good
    Keep on writing like this

  7. Bill says:

    So deep and direct…and I love the structure of the verse. Well done!

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad you liked it πŸ™‚ Thanks a lot πŸ™‚

  8. prewitt1970 says:

    You and I are similar in this way.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad I could write something relatable πŸ™‚
      Means a lot to me πŸ™‚ Thank you πŸ™‚

  9. Rob Alberts says:

    Nicely spoken

    Kind regards,

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad you liked my poem πŸ™‚
      Thanks a lot πŸ™‚

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