“I don’t want to be kind” – Nayana Nair

Excuses are futile, reasons unnecessary.
You may have sad story
but who doesn’t.
I don’t want to know what you went through.
I don’t want to melt my indifference and disregard
and become the only character who suffers for their understanding.
I don’t want to be that lone person
who considers even small actions
so that the ones who are already hurt,
don’t break on their watch,
don’t die on them.

*****

But it is difficult to be kind
to the ones who end up living for their pain,
who think their pain makes them special,
who would do anything to keep their status of
the ones needing protection.
It is tiring to continuously ache for others.
It is tiring to see everyone walking back to their mistake
in the name of love, in the name of passion.
Don’t tell me about your sadness and worries.
Don’t ask me for support and advice.
I cannot forgive those who return to the normality of their hell
leaving me as the only one
who should have known better than to help those
who can’t make up their mind.

10 Comments

    1. What I am writing about is not necessarily about a conclusion how to deal with the situation. But more of presenting the feelings that we have when we are faced with such situation. What one can feel when they put everything of themselves in helping someone, but at the end it is all futile. Many times people come to you distressed with certain situation or person. But at the end they do go back in that poisonous relationship. And one cannot help those who can’t form a resolve of saving themselves. Though it is human to not being able to get over feelings even when we are suffering. We often cling to things that are not good for us. But I wanted to explore the perspective of someone who is a third person who is pulled into such situation just because they wanted to support their loved one.

    1. True.
      There was this quote from a drama I had once seen:
      “The time when a person helps someone is not decided by the person who is giving the help, but the person who is receiving the help.”
      I find it very true. The person who is suffering must have a strong resolve to get over it, only then any help we provide makes any difference.

      1. We can only hope that they realise what they’re doing to themselves, the ones around them, and then seek help – for real.

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