When I held your hands,
you told me I am calculating.
When I listened to your worries
you told me that it is because
I have no other choice,
because I have no one else anyway.
When I cried
you told me I am manipulating.
When I speak of my feelings for you,
you tell me that I am afraid of loneliness,
of dying alone.
That a person like me can never love anyone.
I wish I could say that it is all in your mind,
that I am not evil as you speak.
I want to say that my love for you is true,
that I am not all that bad.
But as you said
I have no one,
no one to tell me that
I am only as bad as everyone else is,
no one to tell me that
I can still be loved.
I have only you
and now to love you
I have to learn
to hate myself first.
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Published by Nayana Nair
Hi,
I am Nayana Nair. I'm 28. Just a person who has tons of things to talk about....not much organized thoughts sadly.
I'm interested in all forms of storytelling (though I don't have the talent for it). So I like series, movies, novels, anime, and whatnot. I'm also really passionate about music, psychology, learning languages (I just dream big, too undisciplined to makes any actual progress) and literature. I am overall just a curious person who is interested in all kinds of things, as long as they suit my taste.
I always wanted to be a writer (and also a teacher)..But I don't think I have the skills required...this blog is just my attempt at becoming the writer I always wanted to be...Blogging for few years, I have realized I am more of a poet (although, I am not sure that I am good enough for that label)...I hope I realize more about myself through writing.
Thanks for dropping by!! Hope I didn't disappoint. :)
View all posts by Nayana Nair
A remarkable piece of writing …
Thank you so much π π
Your writing is intense and captivating.
Thanks a lot for such kind words π Means a lot π
wow…that ending was crucial
Thank you π
Glad that you liked it π
π
Thank you π
A big WOW.. πππΌ
Thank you so much π π