“No Other Choice” – Nayana Nair

When I held your hands,
you told me I am calculating.

When I listened to your worries
you told me that it is because
I have no other choice,
because I have no one else anyway.

When I cried
you told me I am manipulating.

When I speak of my feelings for you,
you tell me that I am afraid of loneliness,
of dying alone.
That a person like me can never love anyone.

I wish I could say that it is all in your mind,
that I am not evil as you speak.
I want to say that my love for you is true,
that I am not all that bad.

But as you said
I have no one,
no one to tell me that
I am only as bad as everyone else is,
no one to tell me that
I can still be loved.

I have only you
and now to love you
I have to learn
to hate myself first.

10 Comments

  1. A remarkable piece of writing …

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

  2. Lucia says:

    Your writing is intense and captivating.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thanks a lot for such kind words πŸ™‚ Means a lot πŸ˜€

  3. wow…that ending was crucial

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you πŸ™‚
      Glad that you liked it πŸ™‚

  4. A big WOW.. πŸ˜‡πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

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