“What I Remember (12)” – Nayana Nair

hailstones.
that’s what i remember.
when the stones fell
onto the already breaking roofs of our class,
the girl who sat three rows ahead
stopped reading.
everyone who was busy day dreaming,
who had shut their ears to every useless fact that we come to learn,
knew how to listen to this,
to this violence that could hurt but won’t.

i sat there listening,
wondering if my skin would also be able bear
what this tin sheet roof can,
if my classmates would look at me
understand their violence that could break me but hasn’t yet.

maybe it was our silence,
maybe it was the teachers glare
that made it stop,
made the loud shrieking rain to end.
and when she left
the stones had already turned into dripping water.
the kids wanting to forget
the trauma of being silenced,
of having their dreams interrupted,
of being reminded of their helplessness
recited incidents that didn’t happen,
tried to laugh a little louder than usual,
made another joke at the expense of someone like me
and so my only memory of hailstone
was also reduced to the din of students (who never liked me).

i closed my books and pretended to be asleep
while everyone ate and talked to their friends.
i waited for everyone to leave
so I could eat alone
without being ashamed for being left alone.
“hailstones”.
i said the word aloud in that empty classroom.
i had one more words now
to describe these kids who scared me by their meanness,
who made me like the prospect of loneliness.

17 Comments

  1. Muntazir says:

    Brilliant. Sad yet strong.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked it πŸ™‚
      Thank you πŸ™‚

      1. Muntazir says:

        My pleasure

  2. I wish I had words as eloquent as yours to describe how it felt to read this.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you for your kind words πŸ™‚
      I am really happy that you liked this poem, just knowing that is enough, no need for eloquent words πŸ™‚

      1. You, are so kind. And you are welcome.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you πŸ™‚

  3. Hard-hitting like hail.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much πŸ™‚

  4. noblethemes says:

    Powerfully written. Very sad, very tragic, but eloquently put into words.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much πŸ™‚ Glad that you liked it πŸ™‚

  5. M.B. Henry says:

    Oh my…. 😦 Such strong words! Beautifully done.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked it dear πŸ™‚
      Thank you πŸ™‚

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thanks a lot for the reblog πŸ™‚

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