“Away from the City of Saints” – Nayana Nair

so the saint i read about
walked this land,
looked at this river, looked at this sky,
and stood where I stand.

in the cases of glass there are letters,
there are feelings i cannot understand.
they say he made this place with love
here his everything ends, where his nothing began.

but the glass turned into mirrors
his writing became face of mine.
i was pricked by the bitterness
that were not supposed to be in his words.

how can he say the things we say?
how can his cruelty be pardoned for his principle?
why can i not call him hero
like i used to, like everyone still does?
why his truth makes me shrink away from every other truth?
why does his life disappoint me so much?

i came here seeking nothing
but i left losing a lot
and doubting a lot.
on my way back
i left the what he once gave me
and finally picked up what i should have.

5 Comments

  1. The state of realisation dawns, and the beauty of it overpowers all.
    Well done here ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked it ๐Ÿ˜
      Thank you so much ๐Ÿ˜Š

  2. moyatori says:

    Oh my gosh, I love this one. Was the poem inspired by any particular location?

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked it dear ๐Ÿ™‚
      Yeah it is inspired by a particular place I visited recently. Though I don’t want to name the place or the person associated with it. But I was like an eye opener for me. I think I read about this person, like mostly everyone must have in my country at least, and took pride in his principles, tried to adopt them as a child. But after living the life I have lived and having learnt how to think by myself, I realized that I didn’t quite agree with the kind of life this person advocated or the things I think other must have suffered because of him. I was reminded that once I had read that sometimes we realize what we are only when faced with what we don’t want. It was something like that for me. I kind of realized how not to live my life. I realized that I must give weight to what is important to me. This person’s ideals or principles were important to protect the things he held dear, but what I hold dear are something completely different. So I had to put him down from the pedestal of saint (that from childhood I was taught to see him as) to that of a human with whom I cannot agree.
      (I am not sure that this will make any sense, since I am talking in such vague terms. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ )
      Thanks a lot dear ๐Ÿ™‚ I am happy to know that you liked my work.

      1. moyatori says:

        It certainly does make sense. There’s something about saints and martyrdom that is quite unhealthy for normal people to emulate. Your poem was very inspiring!

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