should i thank you
for becoming the faceless stranger
that i dread the most?
you are the new voice inside my head.
less of a voice, more of a threat.
how should i make you happy?
how can i shut you up?-
is all i think about.
i want to grow up
and grow out of this mind
that can’t take even this shallow critique.
but i can’t.
how can I confront you
when you may actually be correct about me?
what should i do?
remain a nothing till your attention shifts?
learn to cry without being bashed for my weakness?
but at least I am glad I am not your type,
that I am not the excuse
you would use to pull someone else down.
so goodbye “the embodiment of my self-doubt”
thank you giving me another grief to write about,
for speaking your mind and taking away my voice.
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Published by Nayana Nair
Hi,
I am Nayana Nair. I'm 28. Just a person who has tons of things to talk about....not much organized thoughts sadly.
I'm interested in all forms of storytelling (though I don't have the talent for it). So I like series, movies, novels, anime, and whatnot. I'm also really passionate about music, psychology, learning languages (I just dream big, too undisciplined to makes any actual progress) and literature. I am overall just a curious person who is interested in all kinds of things, as long as they suit my taste.
I always wanted to be a writer (and also a teacher)..But I don't think I have the skills required...this blog is just my attempt at becoming the writer I always wanted to be...Blogging for few years, I have realized I am more of a poet (although, I am not sure that I am good enough for that label)...I hope I realize more about myself through writing.
Thanks for dropping by!! Hope I didn't disappoint. :)
View all posts by Nayana Nair
it rains in my heart 
God I went through this in a past relationship, in fact I am in the middle of trying to write a post about it right now… those voices can be so deeply rooted but the truth is what they say is often not true, its just someone’s judgement or projection a lot of the time.
I agree. But even though such opinions or harsh criticism may not be based on reality or a just a convenient perspective that someone has of us, but they sometimes leave long lasting effect effect on us. And it takes lot of time and effort to free ourselves from their grasp.
Will look forward to your post. 🙂
They really do stay very powerfully etched within us, so hard to uproot. xox
Lets hope we all find ourselves back in spite of all this.
Lots of love. xoxo
❤
you know, a lot of the time, the way people look at us is how we look at ourselves in the mirror and the hopeful part is that, who we think we are is almost always a lie.
i really hope this helps. when we deal with our critisism of ourselves…the outside critisism no longer matters.
you don’t have to believe that it’s true.
I agree with you that it is our own doubt in ourselves that gives us most pain and the words from others just fans that flame that already exist within us. And believing in ourselves can to a lot of extent help this situation.
But I think it is true to a large extent that many people in this world are rude and demeaning in their actions and words, and mostly without reason. I have seen people criticize good work or a good person int the worst possible way, just because they can. Imagine if a person fights all their insecurities to put themselves or their work in the open. And they are met by these type of people and their cruelty. I think all the work they did on themselves would be undone because of such a reception.
It is a different matter if the criticism is justified or is for good of the person, but many a times it is not. Most of the times people are pretty disrespectful just for the fun of it. (Even a constructive feedback should be presented in a proper way, speaking truth and being rude and hurtful are not the same thing)
Though we always like to believe that changing the person in the mirror is the best way to deal with such issues. But we can’t say that the people who derive such pleasures by bullying, demeaning and hurting others are innocent.
I am not necessarily talking about my work, since I have been fortunate enough to have such lovely people here on WordPress who have helped me grow in my writing.
I was going through the comment section of some artists on YouTube some time ago and the kinds of comments I saw there, made me sad, I felt for the artist who created something so beautiful only to hear all this.
I am not sure if I am making sense. But what I want to say is though change begins with oneself, but the world should be held accountable for what it does as well.
(The anonymity that internet offers has made things just worse)
Sorry for the long rant dear. 🙂
nahhh, i completely get where you are coming from. if i wrote something that i am proud of, if somebody demeans it in very hurtful way…i would be torn apart. i think the most beautiful thing about creators is that we feel so passionate about the poem, art etc that we produce that when someone recieves it in a cold way, it plain bad honestly especially when it is coming from a place of bad intention.
and honestly, this isn’t just about creativity, we are so quick to judge, us human beings. we are ruthless that way. and more than half the time, hypocritical. I find that…the way i have been judging myself for a really long time…have been implanted there by other people. i love a phrase i came up with: ” human interaction is innocent manipulation “
” human interaction is innocent manipulation “…wow, that is a beautiful line. lovely.
you write so well dear. 🙂
thank you 🙂