“What I Remember (16)” – Nayana Nair

you
and me

you
and the me that i was, that you hated once, but not as much what i am right now

you
and your rough sketch of me that looks like bits and pieces of your past lovers

you
and your ticking clock, both waiting for me to change

you
and you habit of making me wait, of walking out on me

you
and your empty seat that you have already forgotten

you
with your air of arrogance that i pretend not to see for the sake of loving you

you
and your smile that sometimes (most of the times) have nothing to do with me

you
and your calls out of blue, calling me love, calling me heartless, throwing me away and calling me back,

you
and your words, your voice always asking for more

you
and your insistence of loving in past and hating in present

you
and your love that wants never to be associated with me

you
and your cruelty of always forgetting (only) me, forgetting the hurt you cause

you
asking me to love you back in spite of all, asking me to speak only in sweet words, never asking me how i made it through the pain you gave me last time, never wondering what do i want out of this love, that has no place for me

11 Comments

  1. It’s a bit sickening to realize that in a world of more than seven billion people a poem of this quality is so easily overlooked. But what’s to be done about it? There is no longer room enough in the school textbooks for all the world’s great literature. Still, this poem deserves a place.

    Two lines in particular struck me.

    “… bits and pieces of your past lovers”.

    From what I’ve seen, you’re very much aware of how people fail to see who they are with.

    “…your insistence of loving in past and hating in present”

    This is such a mark of emotional dependency. At least in my experience it is.

    Nearly every line strikes me, but those two especially.

    1. If only it was that simple. 🙂
      But I guess irrespective of whether it is simple or not, somethings need to be done. But even at the verge of giving up, this heart wants to believe that things can fixed and people can change.

      1. I know, definitely not easy and yes we do want to believe that people can change but we also need to make sure that we aren’t hurting ourselves as we hope for someone to change. Hugs to you!!

  2. Kind of makes me think that time comes when you simply need to dispense with the ‘you’ and let the wishes and desires of the ‘me’ come to the fore. 🙂

    1. True. Sometimes certain relationships can exhaust you, especially because you are trying so hard for it to work. The romantic idea of giving up oneself for the sake of love seems so tough in practice. One wonders what is this true love that we expect from each other, for which we try to change each other. I imagine sometimes that maybe ‘you’ also expects things from ‘me’, that this ‘you’ might be living a different life of disappointment.

      1. Reality and romance can be very different 🙂 In my case the ‘you’ has no time to live a different like of disappointment (I might explain that one day!!!). I not only like reading your work but also have great respect for thinking out replies to comments. That shows a lot of potential for a writer 🙂

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