“Moments with a Cold Sun” – Nayana Nair

With each day crossed out.
With each dresses, each mask added to the my wardrobe.
With each hand that passed into mine,
with each hand that moved onto the next too easily,
I realized I knew how to dance to this tune
that used to frighten me once.

Another stranger,
another potential lover,
another sun that has already grown cold,
whispers in my ears – words I do understand.

I search for a harmless smile in my bag.
I hang it carefully on my face.
I turn myself into a gift,
into a substitute of love
for this person –
who is dying like me,
waiting like me,
for something, anything
to fill the time left.

7 Comments

  1. RPR says:

    Harmless smile…

  2. Smile gives strength and definitely harmless in many ways. Beautiful poem

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad you liked it dear πŸ™‚ Thank you πŸ™‚

  3. The question would arise at some point, are you dancing to your own tune, or could it be you dance to another’s tune, being happy to please because it all seems so easy. I think the key to your poem is “I turn myself into a gift, into a substitute of love”. Isn’t this a recognition that you are then losing sight in the search to find and be yourself? This is a lovely work, one that I enjoy reading because this has such open expression πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      I think the point is how we begin to see the failure to find ourselves and be ourselves as our something we are good at. The way we say “this world is cruel, but we know how to survive here, we have learned it’s ways”.
      Many times in life we are valued for providing comfort to others, and we end up believing that we are nothing without this quality. We tire ourselves out, thinking if we care the most, we will be loved one day in return. But that is not how it works out most of the time. We end up losing sight of ourselves as you said. πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked my poem πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much πŸ™‚

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