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“All your cold dark songs” – Nayana Nair

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as i get inside the crowded bus,
a phone rings.
a ringtone just like yours.

has the world shrunk to the size
of the tragedy we created,
that i find you like this?

i know it is not you,
but it could be.
so i do not turn back.
it could be you,
so i try not to cry.

this is not where
walking away or breaking clean
should lead to.
at least not back to you.
at least not like this.
not on the day i finally felt
that i could move toward a new happiness.

why did you come back?
to tell me how i am not worthy of anything good?
to tell me no one can love something like me?
to tell me how thinking is unhealthy for love like ours?
to check if my skin remembers your anger?
to tell me to speak softly, to submit to your wishes
if i wish to be forgiven for your mistakes?

why did you come back,
when you don’t even want me?

About Nayana Nair

Hi, I am Nayana Nair. I'm 25. Just a crazy girl who has tons of things to talk about....not much organized thoughts sadly. I like to talk about everything...mostly..every conversation of mine turns into a monologue.... So I decided I should start writing a blog..rather than chat.... I'm very much passionate about music, psychology and literature.... Moderate interest in science..... I always want to be a writer (and also a teacher)..But I don't think I have the skills required...this blog is just my attempt at becoming the writer I always wanted to be...Blogging for few years, I have realized I am more of a poet (although, I am not sure that I am good enough for that label)...I hope I realize more about myself through writing. Thanks for dropping by!! Hope I didn't disappoint. :)

10 responses »

  1. Incredibly poignant, but beyond that, surgically precise.

    Reply
  2. Thank you for sharing!.. 🙂

    “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”… Marilyn Monroe

    Reply
  3. The structure here is so good. The poem starting with hope and knowing the hope is most likely unfounded, the realization that the aim to be free is a struggle, you know the path is there but maybe cannot find it or see it. Then the last part tells us why your heart might have been broken and leaves us with the question, will she do it all over again. Great structure and feelings expressed at just the right moments. 🙂 🙂

    Reply
    • This poem is very close to my heart. It also deals with some of the emotions that I am having trouble understanding and getting in terms of. So I am thankful that you paid so much attention to this work and notices the small small things that otherwise one might just pass through.
      I think there is some things in life that were painful to us and we can’t let get out of that even when the ordeal passes. Even if it fails to ruin us, it does change us and controls us in the form of fear.
      I am really glad that you liked my work 🙂
      Thank you so much 🙂 😀

      Reply

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