“Before I Forget You”- Nayana Nair

I wanted to write something about you,
before I start forgetting-
who you were,
who i was with you,
how we lived,
and how we learned how to not live,
how we felt the extremes of helplessness,
with each other.

But I do not want to be the only voice actor
in this otherwise silent movie.
I could never read your lips.
I never moved mine.
But it should have been enough.
You convinced me that I would be enough for you.

But as I suspected you knew too little of yourself.
As I knew, my love also had limitations.
We hated what we saw in each other.
So you covered your eyes with anger,
I covered mine with fear.
And all we did for years is to sing to each other
about the loneliness that we had gifted each other.

If only we could give up on ourselves earlier,
we may not have suffered so bad,
we might not have hated each other so much.

I wish what we had was something shallow.
But it was not, our wounds are proof of that.

Lets just say that we would live on just fine
and try to believe in that as long as we can.

Published by

Nayana Nair

Hi, I am Nayana Nair. I'm 25. Just a crazy girl who has tons of things to talk about....not much organized thoughts sadly. I like to talk about everything...mostly..every conversation of mine turns into a monologue.... So I decided I should start writing a blog..rather than chat.... I'm very much passionate about music, psychology and literature.... Moderate interest in science..... I always want to be a writer (and also a teacher)..But I don't think I have the skills required...this blog is just my attempt at becoming the writer I always wanted to be...Blogging for few years, I have realized I am more of a poet (although, I am not sure that I am good enough for that label)...I hope I realize more about myself through writing. Thanks for dropping by!! Hope I didn't disappoint. :)

16 Comments

  1. If you both give up your ego.. If you kill that ugly devil called ego.. You will forgive each other and you will not need to forget… You will need to re connect again..
    Best wishes dear.

    1. Sadly we at some point we have started mistaking our ego as our identity. It is sad, but that is at some point becomes the only wall (that we think) protects us.
      But I agree with you, once both involved can overcome the limitation placed by their own ego, they can solve this better.
      Thanks a lot for the wishes. Wish you the best as well πŸ™‚

  2. This is very poignant and disturbing. Good writing!

    For me, it can be extraordinarily difficult to distinguish between love and emotional dependency in the context of a long term relationship. Not sure if that’s true of everyone.

    1. I also feel the same. Emotional dependency almost seems like love sometimes. Sometimes we want to desperately want to believe that they both are same. But then I think so many of our feelings are confusing. The treason we can never really understand ourselves.

      Really glad that you liked my poem πŸ™‚
      Thanks a lot πŸ™‚

  3. In some ways this is a very sad poem, for you bring out the struggles that can exist in relationships, the desire for joys, happiness and intimacy slowly are lost. The loss of that love leading to loss of other things until the bond of love is broken and the relationship slowly crumbles. Knowing the love really was so much deeper and thinking, if only it were shallow I would not feel like this. This is a lovely poem and you can be proud of the way you have expressed love and loss πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    1. Sometimes we wish that we thought a little less, felt a little less, so that life may not be so overwhelming. But at the same time we end up waiting for these moments that are bigger than us. πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked my poem πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much πŸ™‚

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