“Backseat” – Nayana Nair

we get onto the car
that we wish was stolen
i look at her (not my lover, yet),
at him (my friend – we share the same passion
of finding new things to be disappointed about),
i look at the the small bags we have packed
and realize that this is far too less to start a life
i count them as i get in
i realize one of us probably
has nothing worth carrying around in life.

she keeps telling me that unlike us
she has to take care of things
so she is bound to be late
she says this while she texts the food preferences
of her beloved pet
to someone who owes her one
(i feel something similar to jealousy seeing this).

and he keeps changing the radio station
as if he knows what he is looking for,
as if he has grown up on radio songs and commercials,
but he hasn’t.
he says that is what makes it more romantic,
the unknown that was always in front of you
to finally acknowledge something
that shouldn’t have been invisible from the start.

i just look at them, making mental notes,
calculating the chances that we might come to our senses
(that would be pretty sad, if that happens).
i keep looking back
as if i was being abducted,
dragged out of heaven against my wishes.
but it is no heaven
(not anymore).

so i sleep in the backseat
hiding my tears under the blanket of darkness-
since i do not want to recall every thing
that made this place and my body unholy, unbearable;
since i don’t want ask these two
about what they are running away from.
i wonder if i will ever know a home
that won’t drive me away.

11 Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing!… as long as I follow my heart, I will always be free and there will be no boat to rock… 🙂

    “My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze.. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny”. Elaine Maxwell

  2. The brilliance of the use of ‘voices’ stands out here, an amazing effort. I can identify with some, except that moving off with no baggage at all has suited me best. I think, but may be wrong, we still only have two ‘physical characters’. He and then ‘she’ and ‘she’ are two faces of one? I am the optimist, believing we all find a home of sorts, though often not the one we were seeking. 🙂 🙂

    1. I agree with you 🙂 Though I am not much of an optimist, I also believe that the home we are seeking may not be the one we have in mind. Life is surprising like that and we know too little of ourselves. 🙂
      Really glad that you liked my poem 🙂
      Thank you 🙂 😀

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