“Counting the Pieces Left” – Nayana Nair

shadows of evening
are still in my room
the morning rays,
the flickering light bulb,
your laughter,
they don’t do much.

cause this life
of mirrored sunshines and smiles
makes me feel nothing.
there is something wrong with my heart
which you might have known all along.

i toss another piece of me
into the ocean.
it is one other piece of me
that you will never see, will never have again.
you hold my hand and tell me
what i have thrown away
was too difficult to find in this world,
that it was your most favorite thing about me.

i want to cry and apologize to you
but i sit there feeling relieved
now that I have one less thing to lose.
there is something wrong with me
to not want your kindness and your love.
it is not your fault dear.


  1. blindzanygirl says:

    This is very deep but very sad. Poignant Nayana. I like it 😊

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked it dear πŸ™‚
      Thanks a lot πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

      1. blindzanygirl says:

        You’re welcome

  2. Beautiful and heart felt Have a beautiful day! πŸ™‚

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked it πŸ™‚
      Thank you πŸ™‚
      You too have a beautiful day πŸ™‚

  3. Lucia says:

    “cause this lifeΒ 
    of mirrored sunshines and smiles”
    Outstanding writing, beautiful.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked it πŸ™‚

  4. usfman says:

    Sounds like a recipe for self destruction.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      It sure does πŸ™‚

  5. I think I may just be the eternal optimist and your enigma, for in your writing you present a conundrum of sorts. A young lady who writes about the hardships of understanding herself, and indeed the two selves, yet who does so with skill and zest that I would find it hard to believe that you do not actually get some satisfaction from your writing. I often wish I had more time to discuss your work, maybe I spend too much engrossed in my own work. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you for such kind words πŸ™‚
      Means a lot to hear that (means a lot to be taken seriously, which doesn’t happen much often)
      Your words give me a little more faith in my own work πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for that πŸ™‚
      (P.S. I also feel I give too little time to reading other fellow bloggers work, and am more engrossed in my work. But I think it is partly because it is so difficult to take out time for our own writing from our everyday life. And in spite of that if we are all supporting each other’s work, that in itself is more than enough. πŸ™‚ )

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