“Don’t tell me” – Nayana Nair

Unlike your descriptions,
the green doesn’t wait for the sun.
It doesn’t know what waiting is,
what the word ‘sun’ is, it doesn’t even know
that you are the its spokesperson.

I am not coming at your throat dear,
it’s just that
I feel, as time passes
that you see me more as that green
than your woman.

You cut my sentences
and give me used bottles of perfumes, of love
that I must wear.
The only thing you tell me about your day
is how women dote on you
and place you first in the list of men to seduce.

I remember I once said,
“please don’t tell me, i don’t want to know”
and you glared back,
lectured me on openness and honesty and strength of love.

“i don’t want to know”
I said it only once,
because my I was afraid to say it ever again.
And in my unreasonable fear, I understood
that in this life of pretend, I had also begun
to see you as another sun,
even when you are not.

So, I am not coming at your throat dear.
I am try to free myself from your hold,
from your twisted idea of love,
that is messing with my mind now.
I am someone without you as well,
and I don’t want to be convinced that I am not.

10 Comments

    1. Glad you found it relatable, that you could see some part of yourself in my lines.
      (I am always confused how to react when someone finds my sad poems relatable, as a writer I am happy and overjoyed that I could give words to what someone else is feeling/has felt, but it is also sort of unfortunate, that you also had to go through something similar)
      God bless you too πŸ™‚ Peace πŸ™‚

  1. Powerful words on how it is easy to give ourselves to someone who does not deserve our time let alone love.
    I think everybody makes that mistake , probably multiple times in love and friendship and family before realising we are worth more than that which we have been portrayed to be, and worth more than we imagined ourselves to be.

    1. True. Realizing our own worth is probably the most difficult thing, something that affects all our relationships as well.
      Really glad that you liked it πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much πŸ™‚

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