“Eavesdrop” – Nayana Nair

From my empty room,from the edge of my personal cliff,I looked into the windows of strangers,looked over their shoulder at texts they write,looked at the pages where their bookmark rests,silently waited at the edge of my chairtrying to overhear responses to the big questions. And all I have known by prying so hardis that thereContinue reading ““Eavesdrop” – Nayana Nair”

“The Empty Half of Everything” – Nayana Nair

I am trying to liveas if you didn’t happen.But your are the lone dreamthat I have grown for years.I cannot help but lookfor your shade.

“in this castle of forever” – Nayana Nair

i held on,only because i fearedi might regret giving up on someonewhom i could have probably loved again with time. i held on even whenthis scenario of finding love in you again didn’t give me any happiness. love only taught me fear.fear of hurting you.fear of being hurt. in this castle of foreveri haunted theContinue reading ““in this castle of forever” – Nayana Nair”

“The Noise of Empty Heart” – Nayana Nair

I close your heart.I stitch you backin a same haphazard wayI do almost everything in life.The same way I knocked down every clumsy fragile landmarkthat could have actually helped me at the end. From your mouth I have come to knowthat my hopes are tied to the throats of my saviors.That you are disgusted asContinue reading ““The Noise of Empty Heart” – Nayana Nair”

“i don’t react well to kindness” – Nayana Nair

the river behind meis filled with regretof swallowing the sunthat she once claimed to love.she is like me,so i thought she’d understand. but she holds my hands, refuses to give me upwhen i try to find outhow much I can be filled.she fears my temperamentand the dangerous things i incessantly wish for. i want toContinue reading ““i don’t react well to kindness” – Nayana Nair”

“Pillar” – Nayana Nair

I do not know how to help you. I am used to relying on you,to make everything right. You are supposed to be the strongest one.Or were you always like this? Was your strength a make-belief, my excusefor not caring, for not doing anything. I do not know how to hold your handwhen you refuseContinue reading ““Pillar” – Nayana Nair”

“You cannot be my everything” – Nayana Nair

You are always there when I look back. That is enough I guess. I hope I never learn to want more.

“Anything is better than this” – Nayana Nair

There is another in your heart.In your mind there is always a new another-someone you could have had.“Anything is better than this”, as you so often say.I wonder if the hell of your imagination has my face.For long my hell has been – you, keeping your options open.My hell has been – wondering if itContinue reading ““Anything is better than this” – Nayana Nair”

“The wind is picking up” – Nayana Nair

The wind is picking up.The white sand unlike watersinks everything too slowly.And so the shade less trees of eucalyptus become shadows that I learn to love.They become compass that knows no direction,but just piece this world to hold, the silent assurancethat I am not yet lost, though my eyes can’t tell. *** The wind isContinue reading ““The wind is picking up” – Nayana Nair”