“a proper life” – Nayana Nair

the metal melts on my tongue.
this must be the fever that everyone warned me against.
now i will never know how to die properly.

i used up every drop i could find on this planet
to make the broken trees in me grow.
and there are so many,
so many skeletons with stunted growth.

i read we need not only the sun, but also the leaves, the green
to make something that can fill our stomach.
that light by itself can only gift hope .
how long can one live on hope?
just long enough to hate everyone
who has a piece fleshy fruit stuck in their teeth.

the only way to live properly i am told
is to become the the tailcoat of someone better than me.
i must make someone’s life easy,
must become a photocopy machine for their blood,
must cry silently into the sink as i clean the dishes at night
to live a proper life.

but it is too late i guess,
i have lost the plan i was told to follow obediently,
the only color that remains on my skin are the ones i was born with,
the unflattering shape of my body
won’t be bought with the coins of love in any shop,
my finger, my unshapely hands have become un-holdable.

the adjectives, the rumors, the sad future of mine
they falls like pieces of metal on my ears everyday
and yet they are not the words i can say, or accept.
these word, this metal melts in my mouth
they say i will die a sad death,
that i will die as i have lived – by myself.

10 Comments

  1. Beautiful and insightful, Nayana. Here’s my response, using your poetic style:

    they say these things
    to fill me with fear
    that i might become an obedient slave
    with no life of my own

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Loved your poetic response, Rosaliene πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

      Really glad that you liked my poem. Thank you so much dear πŸ™‚

  2. markmkane says:

    Such a beautiful poem. Your words truly evoke raw emotions.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad that my poem could reach your heart and that you liked it πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

  3. Very nice verse. Definitely hits the sad spot in me– especially since I have a dying friend. Peace.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Glad that you liked my poem. Means a lot πŸ™‚

      It must be really hard time for you. I will pray for you and your friend.
      Peace.

  4. This is such a beautiful poem, Nayana. It’s sad yes, but beautiful. And the picture. It’s breathtaking

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thanks a lot dear for such kind words πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked my poem πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

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