“i don’t react well to kindness” – Nayana Nair

the river behind me
is filled with regret
of swallowing the sun
that she once claimed to love.
she is like me,
so i thought she’d understand.

but she holds my hands,
refuses to give me up
when i try to find out
how much I can be filled.
she fears my temperament
and the dangerous things
i incessantly wish for.

i want to tell her
that my heart is too heavy,
that her kindness is only causing me pain,
that bleeding a bit won’t kill me,
that words won’t save me.
that her embrace would only become
my next hope, my next wound.

16 Comments

  1. I feel the struggle of not wishing to get close.. I understand that in accepting, there is then the feeling of being obligated? When we give a gift even if only kindness, those that are the givers should require nothing back in return.. And those who receive should should just accept the kindness given.. Because to think there are reasons behind the giving, then makes the receiver feel like a victim .. And I would think maybe that is the reason why there is this distrust.. Because the receiver has been a victim and wounded many times..

    A remarkable poem that runs deep into our behaviours.. And why we often self sabotage ourselves from accepting Love and Kindness. ❀

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      I agree. In this world, after being a victim of calculated kindness and conditional kindness, our hearts become cautious of any form of kindness. And even though we want to believe that goodness is there in the world, but accepting it is difficult because we don’t want to be more disappointed again.
      I am really glad that you could feel and understand the intention behind my words πŸ™‚ Really glad that you liked my poem
      Thank you so much dear
      Love ❀

      1. You are very welcome πŸ€—πŸ’•

  2. Nice poetry. Well expressed!

  3. M.B. Henry says:

    Beautifully written, as usual. Sometimes, it’s so hard to accept kindness and when people want to help!

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked it dear πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much πŸ™‚
      It would be so good, if one day the world become a place where we do not have to be wary of kindness and love.

      1. M.B. Henry says:

        Yes, that would be magical.

  4. Pia Majumdar says:

    This is heartbreakingly gorgeous Nayana πŸ™‚ Loved it truly.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thanks a lot dear πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked my work. Means a lot πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

  5. Reblogged this on sketchuniverse and commented:
    πŸ‘“ πŸ˜‡ A BEAUTIFUL WORK CAN HELP US TO MITIGATE AND CUSHION OUR PITY.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked my poem πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much for such kind words πŸ˜€

      Have a nice day!

      1. Dear Nayana. You’re so welcome. The merit is yours. Congrats ! πŸ’–

  6. usfman says:

    Since much of your poetry uses a similar theme of relationships, have you ever thought about putting the poem plots together and write a novel? It might work.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Though it might work. But I am not sure, I am ready to commit to write a novel. I think I have a long way to go before I can find value in my own work, to even get the courage to to attempt something like that.
      But I am thankful that you have such confidence in my work πŸ™‚ Thanks a lot πŸ™‚

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