“Born Like This” – Nayana Nair

“i was born like this”, I lie,when I really want to say “the normal ones, the sane onesare surprisingly excellent at breaking anyone without any guilt whatsoever. i no longer have strengthto leave them, or beg them,or handle the repercussion of wanting them. i fear them only when i crythough i am not exactly sureContinue reading ““Born Like This” – Nayana Nair”

“Bland” – Nayana Nair

I heard her again complain about warm hands.A hand that remains warm, always warm, so warm that it almost becomes a fault, a flaw.That it turns into blame, into words that make no sense-“I could have loved him if he was not so good.Good is suspicious. Good is bland.Good is you when you try toContinue reading ““Bland” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (21)” – Nayana Nair

I prod and push the glass slowly, carefullyto the edge of the table,where your glass stands.At the edge where you place your suitcase,where you always tie your laces once againjust to be sure. That is the place you tell me to lovewhen you think I might lend something of meto keep such place alive,to keepContinue reading ““What I Remember (21)” – Nayana Nair”

“this service is no longer available for you” – Nayana Nair

i sat on the sofawith my feet curled under the warmth of my wingswhile next to me, my sadness surfed channelsand forced me to watch things that could make me crybut they didn’t. someone has left the door open againbut i can’t be bothered todaywith calling out to anyone.i hear someone talking about“‚Ķdeserving to beContinue reading ““this service is no longer available for you” – Nayana Nair”

“Unlike me” – Nayana Nair

Sometimes I fear you –the way you can make me want to change,the way you make me act unlike myself.I doubt that maybe I am too easily convincedand too easily affected by your existence. I wonder my effort to become someone you deservehow is it different from the insincerity that I have always shown toContinue reading ““Unlike me” – Nayana Nair”

“some sort of attachment, if not love” – Nayana Nair

A new announcer has replaced the old one.The one with the shrill voice is too tired or too sad to continue, I guess.This new one, she sounds more like my type.She seems like the one who will define my types.I am so thankful she is not the one who tells me to go back toContinue reading ““some sort of attachment, if not love” – Nayana Nair”

“Sandstorm” – Nayana Nair

The sandstorm is just another settingfor this story to continue.There are no trees in our desertthat could be broken.There are only lights that learn to flicker,there is only skin that knows what this wind carries,there are only roads that will drown. With half closed eyes you walk outto search for what you have left behind.WithContinue reading ““Sandstorm” – Nayana Nair”

“The last brick is in my heart” – Nayana Nair

In every country, in every city,on every streetstands a home that could have been ours.I am a daydreamer like thatAs I passed the house with an always crying child,as I passed the house with the overwhelming smell of incense,as I passed the house with singing reality shows played on repeatI only thought of the lifeContinue reading ““The last brick is in my heart” – Nayana Nair”

“I always fall behind” – Nayana Nair

All the lights that were meant to light the way,end up looking like spotlights fragmenting the world.Fragments so beautifulthat I never bothered with moving towards the place I was meant to go;that I sit here, saying goodbye to peoplewho hope to see me wherever they will end up at. But we won’t be seeing eachContinue reading ““I always fall behind” – Nayana Nair”

“The more I walk, the smaller my world becomes” – Nayana Nair

What am I leaving behind that I force myself to smile only because it hurts? What am I leaving behindthat I hear my voice calling out to myself day and night? Being saved, being lovedis the ending I cannot accept for myself.Not anymore. Whom have I hurt so badlythat all I want is – toContinue reading ““The more I walk, the smaller my world becomes” – Nayana Nair”