“Dissociate” – Nayana Nair

my other head
bleeds and falls off
as does my bloody knife

i can no longer call myself a victim of life
now that my sin is set in stone

few more hours for the sun to rise
few more hours i must bear the company of my face
in few more hours the world will love me
now that i look like them and kill like them
they will surely love me
for having one less brain and one less mouth

my eyes look back at me
not accusingly but with pity
of what have i done to myself
but i dare not cry
and act as if i am the one being wronged
my tears- i’ll be burying them under the red petunias
that you loved

my hearts beats furiously
as if running towards something, perhaps an end
end of me? end of her?
it feels wrong saying “her”, “you”
as if a knife is all it takes to set things conveniently wrong

i close the door and leave my open mouth
and questioning eyes on the kitchen table
i break a nail and break my heart
as i dig two graves for myself


  1. blindzanygirl says:

    Wow Nayana. This is SO pwerful and SO sad. Your pooetry is always amazing

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much dear for such kind words. Means a lot πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked it πŸ™‚
      Happy Holidays and Happy New Year πŸ˜€

  2. macalder02 says:

    Sometimes two of the same person are needed: one to tear the skin to know where the pain comes from and the other, writes the poem. It is amazing poetry. I enjoy it flatly.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      You have expressed it so beautifully. Totally agree with you πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked my poem. πŸ˜€ Thank you so much for words of support.
      Happy New Year πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

      1. macalder02 says:

        I love reading you. The best this 2020

  3. Benyapoesy says:

    Amazing words and touching thoughts.

    Great poem, keep writing.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked my work. Means a lot πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

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