“I let him drive” – Nayana Nair

I roll down my window
hoping for the first time
that I knew how to drive
so that I wouldn’t have a confused witness
to my impulse of moving forward by a mile
and falling down by a heartbeat.

“Is everything alright?”,
he asks me too often.
I don’t bother to calm him down by saying ‘yes’
as I was doing an hour ago.
Nothing I say can now convince him of my normality.
So I let him drive and let myself collapse.
I bury my face in my lap
and breathe better by suffocating myself a little bit more.

He hums a song that reminds me of the love
that now lives in a country I have not seen
in a life that I will always guess inaccurately
with a girl who has a serious case of klemptomania.
Last time I called the stolen one,
I was given a sorry and an address of a better therapist.

I let my ring burn my heart.
I ask the driver to leave me somewhere no one can find me
knowing he will not, he will take me home
just like he doesn’t everyday,
and he will make sure to greet me
with a kind forgetfulness the next morning.

I wish I had kept more strangers like him in my life,
someone who would worry about me.

10 Comments

  1. Very poignant words of someone so lonely wishing to escape, yet cling onto those who show us their affection, however small..

    Sending love and well wishes for 2020, may you gather around yourself a new confident you who no longer shares the rain in their heart, but who finds the rainbows hidden behind the clouds And who then shares the warmth of the Sun.. ❀
    Much love
    Sue ❀

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Really glad that you liked my poem πŸ™‚
      Thank you πŸ™‚
      And thank you for your wishes, means a lot. I also wish you a beautiful and fulfilling for year 2020. Happy New Year πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€
      Lots of love. ❀ ❀ ❀

      1. πŸ™‚ thank you Nayana… much love returned ❀

  2. Marvellous post and well played with the words. How are you ? Wish you a very happy new year. Hope the year was a good start.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much dear πŸ™‚ Glad you liked it πŸ™‚
      I am doing well. Have been bit busy with some office work. But apart from that the year has started well. How about you?
      Happy new year πŸ™‚ Wish you have beautiful happy days ahead.

      1. All going good 😊 thank you.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you πŸ™‚ Glad you liked it πŸ™‚

  3. Strangers in your life… your need their reason

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