“What I Remember (25)” – Nayana Nair

There is something beautiful about people
who lose themselves
when they lose someone.
The layer of sanity that cracks,
the heart that lets the past take over-
is a feeling I would never understand.
And all I do in such weather
is wait.
Wait
for my coping mechanism to kick in,
to take the decision away from me,
and let me forget the meaning of loss.

I read another funeral in my lines of fate,
another goodbye in the text not returned,
another scene with poor lighting
standing where I would be least hurt,
saying words I do not mean,
words that go well with my rock heart-
staying true to my widely advertised image.

But I am not unfamiliar with wet cheeks and sleep that follows.
I have cried for minor cuts and burning bruises,
at the wrong weather, at the curbs on my freedom,
in the argument that felt like a arrow I can’t take out.
I have cried a bit more, a lot more
than these small disruptions in life deserve.

I wonder if they would have broken me,
would have shaken me like this
if all whom I have lost were beside me.
If everyone who hid their farewell
in their lemon scented “love you” cards
could stick by a little more,
would I have cared for
or cried for the rains that won’t stop?

As I scatter in wind
the feelings that I dare not keep.
I feel a soft kiss of understanding
asking me to stop.
If only I could.

11 Comments

  1. Pia Majumdar says:

    omg this is literally so good :))

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much dear πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked it πŸ™‚

      1. Pia Majumdar says:

        my pleasure dear ;))

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thanks a lot for the reblog πŸ™‚
      Means a lot πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

  2. WildHeart says:

    You break my heart πŸ’”

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thanks dear πŸ™‚ Glad that you liked it ❣️

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