“everything else” – Nayana Nair

“warm”
this word has become cold
sitting at the base of my throat
my throat burns
and my everything else?
my everything else
-my pretty flesh and my ugly insides-
who want me to be there
and at the same want me gone.
i guess they want me to change.
this is my new low
where my organs are my imaginary friends
the only ones I can talk to,
the only ones who need me,
the only ones I can disappoint,
my new friends who are learning
the weariness of living for me.
I ask around for a lover who has a love for knives
and tolerance for madness of all kinds.
I hear a hundred thousand sighs in me
when the new replacement of romance appears,
asks me my name and digs his sharp canine teeth
on the last bits of my happiness as a hello.
The hundred folded cranes look more like ravens
and the one who promises me an end is now my only hope.
Now things are easy
now that I can’t hear myself breaking
now that I have this strange loud laugh to hide behind,
this person stranger than me,
taking up the blame of everything I have done,
helping me hide from everything that I have killed in my life.

7 Comments

  1. can i just say THAT O MI GWAAAAAAAAAAAD THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHA. i gotta read this again. forgive my excitement but first you will have to ask forgivness for the insolent beauty of UR poems.

    1. Thank you soooooo much dear ๐Ÿ™‚
      Really glad that you liked it.
      To be fair let is both not be seek forgiveness…neither for our work nor for our excitement. If anything I am thankful to feel your excitement for my work. It means a lot. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. I ask around for a lover who has a love for knives
    and tolerance for madness of all kinds.
    I hear a hundred thousand sighs in me
    when the new replacement of romance appears,
    asks me my name and digs his sharp canine teeth
    on the last bits of my happiness as a hello.

    best part of this poem. love it yara.

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