“Crutch” – Nayana Nair

I let your hand become my crutch.
I let your feelings for me
become a means of my own validation.
I let “love” slip
from my mind.
Being the center
of your tiny universe
has ruined me, has undone my heart.
You are too close, too close to be seen
or to be cared for.
Each morning your face reminds me
how you are become one step closer
to achieving invisibility in my eyes.
“i cannot imagine not being your everything”
is not the same as “i love you”.
I wonder if you know that.
I wonder if you know
that this difference
of what I feel
and what I should
is killing anything humane left in me.

9 Comments

  1. god this is relatable. yet again; a lot of people dont realize but at least, they can sleep at night with this oblivion. when u finally realize the…true nature of what u feel, what u say….its like an actual curse honestly. its….ugh. its bad.

    1. I know dear. Sometimes not knowing exactly what you feel is easier to live through. While the rest of us who are aware are always tortured by how what we (or someone else) feels in not exactly someone we should call love. Running away from loneliness becomes love, coping mechanisms become love, dependence becomes love. Not sure if love can be the selfless love that we were taught to believe in. As they say “ignorance is bliss” . πŸ™‚
      Really glad that you liked my poem and that you found it relatable.
      Thanks a lot dear πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

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