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“What I Remember (27)” – Nayana Nair

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i think this suits me most-
to lose myself
and yet look okay.
god gave me a face that always looks okay
even when i don’t want it to.
(there have been only handful of days
when i want to look as miserable i am.)

i wonder how it feels
to say
“do i look broken today yet?
“i cried all night”.
i have never cried at nights.
i have never skipped a meal for my sorrow.
i feed my heart too much fats
and instant unhealthy happiness.
i cut down my green trees
and kill few birds, make a fresh trap
that smiles through my gaping wound.

i live life the only way i can.
look okay cause all parts of me are
still working fine.
god gave me a heart that doesn’t break
the conventional way.
i walk this world fearing this heart
the most.

About Nayana Nair

Hi, I am Nayana Nair. I'm 25. Just a crazy girl who has tons of things to talk about....not much organized thoughts sadly. I like to talk about everything...mostly..every conversation of mine turns into a monologue.... So I decided I should start writing a blog..rather than chat.... I'm very much passionate about music, psychology and literature.... Moderate interest in science..... I always want to be a writer (and also a teacher)..But I don't think I have the skills required...this blog is just my attempt at becoming the writer I always wanted to be...Blogging for few years, I have realized I am more of a poet (although, I am not sure that I am good enough for that label)...I hope I realize more about myself through writing. Thanks for dropping by!! Hope I didn't disappoint. :)

7 responses »

  1. ❤ ❤
    ((HUGS)) Beautifully written!

    Reply
  2. Very well written, a very nice read.

    Reply
  3. You’re doing the best you can. Why beat yourself up over life’s inevitable downfalls?

    Reply
    • I think a person cannot exactly say whether they are doing their best. Even though I can say it for someone else. I find it hard to say it for myself. Many times in life, when I look back at the moment that were hard for me, I see that there was so much that I could have done, but at that moment I believed that I am doing everything in my power. It is less about seeing things clearer in hindsight, but more about having high expectation of myself, that makes things only difficult.
      Though it is difficult to have these expectations from myself, tiring even, but in the long run, I believe I have become a better person because I didn’t let excuses become my crutch. 🙂

      Reply

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