“But it also means…” – Nayana Nair

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I guess now I am the cruel one-
the one people fear to love.
This scenario was meant to be sad,
but it isn’t somehow.
(Why do the worst cases taste so bland to me
when finally they arrive?)

I guess it makes me relieved, if not happy,
to feel loneliness more often than feeling distance.
No one knocks at my door,
and I can’t help but smile
knowing it also means no would leave me.
No one would leave me in love, leave me in pieces,
leave me hating myself again.
(Why do my hopes sound like running away
even if I am facing life in every way I can,
the only way I am allowed to,
the only way forward that doesn’t require
sacrificing myself again?)

5 Comments

  1. Athira says:

    Never lose your hope..

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      I will try my best dear 🙂
      Thank you 🙂 😀

  2. Beautiful words. We are the generation that always talks about running away, I dont know why.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thanks dear 🙂 Glad you liked it 🙂
      Means a lot 🙂

      I agree with you that most of us do talk a lot about running away. But I don’t think that this feeling is specific to a generation. I think it is just about the life we lead and how of our life we feel is in our control. How much hope we have in a change. Maybe these days the people feel they have less control over what happens in their life and what happens to them. Maybe we as a generation at least have not been brainwashed into believing that vocalizing our helplessness as a sign of weakness or something to feel guilty about. This is just my guess. Honestly I am also not sure of the answer.
      Recently I was watching a video where a person was saying that “I always feel like running away, but I don’t. And that is what matters.”

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