Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award

After a long long time, I am back with another award post.
Roshni has nominated me for Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award. I am really thankful that she like my work and considered me worthy of mention on her blog. Means a lot.

Here is the link to the award post by Roshni: Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award

So here is rundown of the rules:

Rules
– Thank the person who nominated you with a link to their blog. (done)
– Make a post of the award (with a photo of the logo). (done)
– Post the rules (done)
– Ask 5-10 questions of your choice. (I won’t be posting any question as I won’t be nominating anyone)
– Nominate 10-30 other bloggers (or more) and notify them. (For last few award post I always skip this step of nominating people. Most of the people I follow don’t like to included in awards and stuff like that, so yeah. And it is too much work to filter out who do like it. So I have given up on the step of nominating.)

So here are the answers to the questions Roshni has posted:

What is the most interesting aspect of the place you belong to?
To be honest, I have never felt a sense of belonging to a specific place. The place that my family home is, the place I was born, the places I have lived are all different. We were on move so much, we never stayed at a place for more than 2-4 years. The place I am living currently living in, Bangalore, is the longest I have stayed somewhere. I do love the convenience of Bangalore, but again I do not have a sense of belonging to this place. All the places I have been I have fond memories of those places, they have contributed greatly to my childhood experiences. All these places, places I won’t ever belong to, places that will forever be in my memory nevertheless have taught me that people at their core are basically same. (It is one thing to read it and other to actually know it.)

Do you like quotes? If yes, which quote defines you? If no, ignore the question.
I love quotes. I love quotes because of the beauty with which they deliver a sentiment, a sentiment that can live without the context. I don’t necessarily think that quotes are the ultimate truth though. If there are 50 quotes in support a sentiment or a thought, there will 50 other quotes against that thought. It doesn’t necessarily prove anything but it is still beautiful.

I am not entirely sure if I can objectively describe myself in quotes. The quotes that I can relate to either make me sound more grand than I am or more pitiful that I am. So the quotes that you see below are just a compromise between how I see myself and how I guess the world sees me.

Quotes that define me:

“They say it’s good to let your grudges go, but I don’t know, I’m quite fond of my grudge. I tend it like a little pet.” 
– Liane Moriarty 

“I’m not sentimental—I’m as romantic as you are. The idea, you know, is that the sentimental person thinks things will last—the romantic person has a desperate confidence that they won’t.“
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

“She knew that was not an honest prayer, and she did not linger over it. The right prayer would have been, Lord . . . I am miserable and bitter at heart, and old fears are rising up in me so that everything I do makes everything worse.” 
– Marilynne Robinson

“Writers aren’t people exactly. Or, if they’re any good, they’re a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

For an accurate description of me, this is how my sister defines me :

infj (mbti) + cancer (zodiac) + sprinkle with some pixie dust & lots of love + lots of sarcastic humour

Following is a quote that defines my persona that I have as a poet (also, suggested by my sister):

“Today, too, I go on living just enough
Keeping in step, wearing my feet out just enough
The sun makes me breathless
The world has stripped me of all I have
Without a choice, with no other alternative,
Under the moonlight I am picking up my scattered self.“
-“4 O’Clock“, BTS RM &V

You wake up in the morning to find an alien(or Thanos) sitting on your chair reading your favorite book. How would you react? (No, I’m not mad; I do envision such scenarios ?? )
I think I would just go back to sleep. I am good at living in denial.
I don’t normally imagine such scenarios. I do daydream a lot, but my day dream would never fall into the category of fantasy, it is mostly about real life as it is. My daydreaming is mostly about what would happen 5-10 years from now, different scenarios of my future or of the people I love, or about a possible story that I am trying to flesh out.

What do you enjoy more- reading, writing or story-telling?
I like reading the most. Though I love writing and story telling as well, but I feel I have too many limitations in that. I feel I have a very narrow vision and hence very narrow range of what I write. I don’t really mind it, because this narrow view, is just me being me, being obsessed about something that I am interested in. But even though I like being confined to specific topic and specific style, I cannot negate the fact that they are redundant to some degree. I love reading most because I never know what I am in for. Every well-written book surprises me, moves me, makes me think in a way I never could have otherwise. So yeah, reading would be the most exciting thing.

What is the knowledgeable/wise thing you have learnt in your adulthood?
Wise things I learnt in adulthood, that have not necessarily eased my life, but anyway:

• Importance of reputation
  I have to work for the reputation I want. It doesn’t mean I am trying to become someone I am not. But if I fool around all the time, obviously no one is going to take me seriously. So even if I don’t get my sleep, even if I am sick or in pain, I will complete my work, I will be on time, I will not let down people. My dedication and sincerity lies in my actions and not in the words I speak casually. It doesn’t mean pushing myself for the sake of my image. It means if I mess up, everyone would know that I have my reasons. My mistakes will be mistakes, not something that I do just because I can or want to. It also means I don’t expect people to believe me or take my side, if my previous behavior makes their disbelief in me justifiable.
  
  Another quote:
  “I think both of you are going to have to take this to heart the way anyone who has ever changed anything about their lives has had to take it to heart: by making it not just a nice thing we say, but a hard thing we do.   
  It’s how the real work is done. “
  – Cheryl Strayed
  
• Minding my own business
  I cannot save everyone, not everyone needs saving, I am probably not qualified to make such assessment on other people, and I don’t think anyone is qualified for that. My morals, my likes, my wants, my decisions are only my business and not something I should project on others.
  Exception – I will voice my views of people who don’t know how to mind their own business. The key here is reciprocity.
  
• Being content
  Even though I might say that I don’t expect much in life. It is all a lie. I expect a lot. My standard are too high. My standards were higher when I was younger. I wanted a perfect family, perfect friend, perfect love, perfect job, and a perfect life. Not that I ever had it. At no point in my life I experienced perfection. Maybe that’s why I wanted it so much. But with time I realized, I didn’t need so much, I wanted only a little, I just wanted those little things to be true and permanent. I did’t want an adventurous or enviable life, I just wanted a peaceful life with things that I care about. I didn’t want a perfect person, but a person who is kind and understanding and on same page as me. I didn’t necessarily want that person to be my love or soulmate. I didn’t actually want a big dream or purpose. I tried to want all the grand things, because I was mistaken that what I have is my worth.
  But now more than anything I wanted only one thing – to wake up with hope, passion, and love for this world. I just wanted to be capable of loving and being gentle to this world. Once I would have once considered this as settling for bare minimum. But now I realize I actually need and want only this.
  
  Quote:
  Hodaka: “Dear God, if you exist, please don’t take anything more, and don’t give anything more.“
  –Weathering with You

Which blog post of yours is your favorite? (Kindly provide the link as we all can read and enjoy.)
I don’t have favorites among my work. Half of my work is just a bit better than the other half, that’s it.
So I am just listing here some poems that I had forgotten I had written and were sort of good:

“My Night Sky” – Nayana Nair

“What I Remember(4)” – Nayana Nair

“Far from Ideal” – Nayana Nair

Suggest 3 books for the readers.
3 books. Soooo tough. That is a really small number. If I select one book, it seems I am being unfair to other books.
But I must select as I can’t list all the books I have read till now, even that is not possible.
So anyway, here are 3 books that I can suggest you. These are books that have taught me something or have moved me, made me see and feel the world in a different way. There are many other books who have done the same for me, but let’s just consider this a starting point.

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Oyasumi Punpun by Inio Asano
In the Light of What We Know by Zia Haider Rahman

Name a fear (if you have and if you’re comfortable in sharing) which you want to overcome.
I think all the fears that I have are there for a reason. I don’t mean to get rid of any of them because I know exactly why I fear what I fear. It is not an irrational fear but a rational one. (If you are vaguely interested in the sorts of ridiculous or nor so ridiculous fear I harbor, click here.)

So yeah that was all. Since we are at the end of the post I would like to thank Roshni again for the nomination and for liking my work.

Things that make me happy

universe fireflie has tagged me in this really sweet post about ten things that make me happy.
I will try to answer them to the best of my ability, but it is going to be tough. If you are aware of my writing, you would have noticed that I am more than capable of writing about sad depressing stuff. So writing about things that makes me happy is a bit weird for me. So before I make this more awkward…let’s start!!!
WARNING: This is a really really long post.

In no particular order…

My Sister
When I think of happiness, my sister is the first person that comes to my mind. It would be an understatement if I say that I am extremely fond of my sister. She is my favorite person in this world. I love how sweet she is, how much curiosity she has for the world, the genuine interests that we both share. Any day, anytime spent with her is bound to be filled with happiness- may it be the serene calm type of happiness or laughing out hearts out type happiness. She is crucial to my happiness.
I am lucky that I happen to be the sister of my best friend. 🙂
Afterthoughts: My sister draws really well. I am so proud of her that I can’t help but promote her work here. She will probably kill me for this though.
Here are the links to my sister’s work, if you are interested : WordPress, Instagram, and Youtube.

Books
I love to read. I am not sure if what I read is intellectual or refined enough. But I like what I like – mostly fiction and poetry. I think reading is what led me to have love for words and even for this world. Books make me believe that there is a meaning in everything, that life is meaningful. It is the kind of assurance that life by itself has never been able to give me. I wouldn’t categorize books into a means to escape from life, but rather a new layer to life that makes me more tolerant of people and world. I love buying books, reading them, finding more books to read. Even the sight of my bookshelf, the thought of all the books that I am yet to read, even adding a new book into my “to read” list makes me feel excited.
Afterthought: On that note, here is a quote from the book I am reading currently:
“Running might take her forward, it could even take her home; but it couldn’t take her back–not ten minutes, ten hours, not ten years or days. And that was tough, as Hely would say. Tough: since back was the way she wanted to go, since the past was the only place she wanted to be.”
― Donna Tartt, The Little Friend

BTS
I will try not to make this too long (because I know I am fully capable of turning this into a 8 hour presentation on BTS).
I love BTS. I love their music, their performances, their passion, their ethics, their character, etc. I cannot possibly explain what effect they have had on my life. I would say they have deepened my passions, made me believe in the goodness in world, and made me believe in the goodness that I am capable of. My life is thousand times better with them in it. They have touched and changes millions of lives through their music, through their existence. I wish they also find the happiness that they want.
I low-key love ARMY – BTS fans who have showered them with all the love they deserve and who try to protect them as much as they can.
Afterthoughts: I think almost every person has one artist whose works resonates with them. BTS just happens to be that artist whose work has most effect on me. I think we should treasure that, always remember that feeling of looking at life with a person who just happens to think about life the same way we do. It is not about supremacy of one artist over other, about loving the artist that made you understand and love ourselves.

Music
My love for music is equivalent to my love of books. Maybe I love music a bit more than books. Each song that I love or like is an experience in itself, those few minutes makes me forget myself and sometimes remind who I am and who I was. I can listen to the same song many many times and only to love it more. I do not have a favorite genre or anything. I think it solely depends on the song.
Afterthoughts:
-Even though I try to explore as many songs as possible in as many language as possible, but most of the time I am not aware of the “popular” stuff. You might even think I am living under a rock. Now, I do not believe that popular songs are bad or good. I am not a person who is against mainstream music. It is just that I am so caught up in the things that I like that I do not get time to even look at other stuff. I sort of live in my own bubble.
– BTS gets its own separate point here, because my love for them is on a whole new level. Their music is awesome. But they are so much more than their music. Stanning BTS is a way of life.

Writing
I think I am a person who has zero confidence in herself. I do not think I am especially gifted in anything. I am not particularly intelligent or beautiful or funny or creative. And I take writing in the same spirit. I do not think I am exceptional at writing, but I love writing. I love the fact that I can write average good stuff some days. I love the 2000 lines of drafts that will never make to a post. When I write, I love how much clearer and focused my head is. I love my writing more when someone else find comfort in my words. I agree that writing with a regular job is difficult and bit pressurizing but writing gives me such joy, that I don’t think I can possibly quit writing.
Afterthoughts: I once heard about a rule that one cannot estimate themselves correctly. So I am probably worse or better than what I think I am. I hope my writing is better than what I think it is.

Internet
There were so many things to list here, so I collectively grouped them as “internet”. But then who doesn’t love internet. It is sort of basic thing that a lot of us take for granted. Having access to so much content, so much information makes me happy. I love the hour that I uselessly spend on looking at memes, the hours I spend playing and upgrading stuff on games that will take me nowhere in life, the hour I spend on watching videos, all the silly hilarious stuff that I retweet at 2 am, binge reading everything about MBTI on Quora, reading random articles that I will end up forgetting anyways. Though it is just a stream of easy to consume media, but still it does make us happy in some ways. And that happiness is significant in itself.
Afterthoughts: I am aware everything is not picture perfect on internet. Internet depresses us also. But with I have learnt to leave online spaces that make me feel bad about myself uselessly.
I am not good with interacting with people online, that is one thing that I cannot enjoy. It is not about whether these people are friends or strangers. I just have a feeling that I have nothing to say that the other person would be interested to know about. (That’s the reason that I silently like your posts rather than leaving the comment you deserve.)
I don’t like to stay online for long also. The moment I finish doing what I had in my mind, I switch off my data. Because I just can’t handle all the notifications. I like the dear old SMS to communicate rather than the new efficient apps with awesome features.

Series/Movies/Stories
Watching series and movies is another joy to me, something that I spend a lot of my time on. Every thing I have watched, every character that I have watched is equivalent to a life that I have lived briefly. I don’t do binge watch though. I like some time to think over everything. That is the pace I am comfortable – to watch something and reflect on it, think about it, to anticipate what is yet to come for the whole day. I think that feeling the story grow in you as you go about your everyday life is an essential part of the whole experience, a part that adds more importance to what I am watching.
Afterthoughts: Again as with music, I have no idea of the popular stuff. I just see what I end up finding. I do have list of stuff to see but that is based on word-of-mouth suggestion from people who like the same things as me.
I do not have a favorite movie or series or book. Naming favorites is too tough for me. For each story, each actor, each director etc. has their own charm. That would be like comparing apples to oranges.

Everything emotional/sentimental/sort of spiritual
I do not look like an emotional person, but I am. I am an INFJ with Cancer zodiac, what else can you expect but an over-sentimental person. I like anything that seeks to explore or talk about these sentiment, anything that values human emotions and shows how complicated and simple it can be. Similarly, I have same feeling about works related to spirituality. I enjoy the company of people who genuinely have something to talk on these topics. I am not into talking about people but talking about ideas. Not the ideas that change the world, but ideas that helps me understand why we feel the way we feel, ideas that give me insight into the tiny limited world.
Afterthought: I think I am not one of those people who can or want to change the world. My mind never wanders into that direction. All I think about is my understanding of world and how to perfect that understanding. Sometimes I think I am a narcissist and self-absorbed person because of that.

Lazing around/Sleeping
I don’t react well to stress. So I am always looking forward to a good sleep or a day without schedules or deadline. A day that I can waste away makes me happy. Even though lazing around for me again means books/music/series etc. Even when it is not busy it is still a busy life.

Being Busy
As much as I like lazing around, I like being busy more. Because of my sense of being less than average and constant feeling of not being good enough. I don’t handle free time well. I feel that no one needs me, the world will work without me also. That I have nothing to offer to world. It is a very sad feeling. So I try to do my work properly, try to do by best in everything. I like the days that I have work myself to point of losing all my energy. So that I can enjoy all the things I love (everything mentioned above) without guilt.
Afterthought: It is not that I cannot sit still or introspect without driving myself to the point of sadness. I like introspection a lot. But having days and weeks of time for just introspection makes me feel like a useless person.

Things that almost made to this list but didn’t (and why):

Food
I used to enjoy eating a lot. I still love good food. But I can’t eat or enjoy it as I used to. Something has changed in me, maybe I am growing old. Now I don’t have that much craze for it.

Friends
I don’t think I am good at friendship. I loved my friends while I was with them. But then apart from the brief time of companionship, there nothing much left of those time now. My expectation from friendship I think is a bit too much. I think in the long run friendships don’t give me happiness.

who taught you to be normal

universe fireflie has written a really nice post who taught you to be normal when you are one of a kind? on her blog with some deep personal questions. She had tagged me to answer the same question. So here I am, writing this post. Not sure, how well I can answer them but anyway will try my best.

Warning: It is a pretty lengthy post. And it is not so fun.

Who taught you to be normal when you are one of a kind?
Honestly, in the first half of my life I didn’t even know that being “one of a kind” was a thing. I was just too happy to be with everyone I guess. But then life happened and I got to know things, learnt lessons that broke me. And at that time all I cared for was “I don’t want to be like them”. I think not wanting to associate with insincere people made me want to choose a specific type of lifestyle in which I cannot be affected easily by others. With time I have come to realize that through all my such efforts, I have made myself “the odd one”. Not sure if it is the same thing as “one of a kind”. But anyway, in short, to live by the ideals that I prized and to not get carried away by the plans and feelings of those around me, I put in a lot of effort to become someone better. Though in no way I was aiming to be “one of a kind” but I have turned out to be that somehow. Though I am still not sure if it is a good thing or not.
So in short, I went from being normal to being some “odd/one of a kind”. I taught myself to be to not go along with what people think/say/believe and in that I ended up deviating from being normal.

What is the worst thing that could happen to you?
I have such a long long list for that. I am a person who is afraid of lot of things. I work and plan on worst case scenarios always. So I cannot exactly pinpoint a specific worst thing. But I think I am better at handling emotional worst cases than physical ones. So yeah, I know it is a vague answer but to actually answer it would take probably 7-8 posts. My collection of fear is that huge.
One thing that I do notice about myself is that. When I do face my emotional worst case scenario, I do cope better than I thought it would. They only hurt when I look back. But when I am caught in that situation all I think is that I have been through worse. After trying my best for all this while, I can’t let anything to break my mind. I would say emotional crisis break my heart but I try really hard to preserve my mind. I try my best to not get changed because of some emotional setback.

You finally got an appointment with God. It took some time but it happened. What is the first personal and un-personal question you ask Him?
If I was asked this question some years ago, I would have had lots of question. Most of them would have been variation of “why me?”. For a long time, I used to think that even though I try my best to be good and true to everyone, why am I facing so many issues in life. It seemed that God was only cruel to me and everyone who I was morally against (not that they are evil) continued to live somewhat fulfilled life (or that’s what it looked like). So most of my questions would have been “why me?”.
But now I do not need an answer for that. It is something I have tried to make sense of this for a long time and have found a somewhat satisfying answer. (1) I am not as good and pure as I think I am. It is not necessarily a bad thing. Just a fact that I can or have acted cruelly when I am pushed to my limits. (2) I have become a better person because of suffering. I have ended up finding a more meaningful life because of the crisis in my life. (3) Though we all have unfair suffering, but we also receive an unfair share of happiness. There are so many good things we have got, not because we deserved it, but by pure chance. (4) When I say “why me?” I wonder do I want someone else to suffer in my place. It seems cruel in itself that I would want someone else to suffer what I can’t bear.
You might think I am far from answering the question, but what I want to say is – In my case, every question I wanted God to answer, my life and my heart finds those answer sooner or later. Answers do arrive, even if late.

If you could change something about you at the switch of a button, what would it be?
I would want to become more confident in myself. My self-confidence would probably negative score. It makes living a bit hard sometimes, especially living with other people. I always have this feeling in me that no one likes me (even strangers), that I am not good at anything, that everyone will leave, that my way of life may turn to be the wrong answer in the end, etc. Even if I am wronged, I can’t bring myself to complain or ask for an explanation. I end up feeling quite pathetic to be honest. Confidence is something I need desperately.

If somehow, someway, all the responsibility on your shoulders disappeared, what would be the first thing that you do?
I am not sure of this answers. I am so used to the responsibilities, that I might not even know how to live my life, if they disappeared. Because it has all become sort of habit, the point where I my roles and my identity are indistinguishable to me. I won’t know how to function, let alone have a bucket list for such a scenario.
I forced myself to think what I would do, and all I could think of is to cry. Maybe cry for days and let myself be consoled and not fear how truth of my heart and my pain would affect the ones whom I love and who care about me.

If your heart could be reflected in anything, what would it be? It could be a place, an object, anything.
A mountain.
A music box that plays a beautiful sad song.
A cloudy yet pleasant day.
A warm hug.
Internal bleeding.
A shield.

If you really really didn’t care about people and their opinions, what would be the one thing that would drastically change about u? your clothing? what you say? your behavior? your actions? and if so what actions?
I would like to answer this question with a quote:

“Yes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night…”
― Sylvia Plath

If your mind could be reflected in anything, what would it be?
No clue. Probably a black box.

What would you do if somebody told you you would die tomorrow?
Me: Finally. <Sigh of relief.>
Also me: Oh my god. I thought I had eternity. I want to see the future of the people I love (not interested in my future), read thousand more book, listen to many more songs. One day is not enough.

I have not yet figured out what I feel about death as of now. I have pretty much mixed feeling about it.

Sunshine Blogger Award

I am doing an award post after a long long time.
What resulted in this delay?
Something as simple as losing track of where I had saved the text file where I had made a list of posts to respond to. Sorry about that. 😦

Now PritAmDas had nominated me for Sunshine Blogger Award sometime in November last year (as I said, it’s been really long time).
I am thankful that you remembered by blog to nominate. I am flattered to think that my blog (my work) is worth keeping in mind.
Here is a link to the post:

https://iliveinfantasy.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/sunshine-blogger-award/

Earlier I used to stick to the rules of awards and all. But now I am a total rebel. I only do the portion of answering questions and almost never nominate anyone these days. The thing I like most about awards is the questions. Because sometimes in answering questions I end up knowing lot about myself and you can also get to know what Nayana is like when I am not writing depressing poems. (I want to reassure you once again that my life is not as sad I write.)

So here are my answers to the questions from PritAmDas:

What do you do when you are bored of doing the same thing again and again?
It is in my nature to not get bored of doing same things again and again. In fact I like routine more than adventure. So that will never happen.
But there are days I don’t like doing anything, nothing interest me. Those days I don’t do anything and such days also pass. Those days very very rare
though.

Do you sometimes step backward and observe? If yes.. what??
Yes, I do that a lot. I step back and observe myself, life in general, people whom I thought I knew and understood. It is a painful and enlightening thing to do, but ends up making me feel helpless because it makes me realize I can never completely know anyone, not even myself.

What you do to make your loved ones happy?
I try to be in good mood, spend time doing what they like, talking to them till late night. In short, being myself and being nice is enough to keep my loved ones happy. They are pretty simple and awesome people to be around.

Tell me when you have gone out of control and behaved like a freak?
That happens quite often. I mostly act like a freak when I am hungry. I overreact, shout a lot, get angry, get irritated with small things (and sometimes it is funny to witness because at that point I have no idea what I am saying and can spew lot of non-sense). So it would be correct to say, depriving me of food or being near a food deprived Nayana can be harmful for anyone’s peace of mind.

If you would have given a time machine what would you do and why?
After watching all the series and drama with time travel trope, I have reached a conclusion – Time travel does no good to anyone. I do not want to change anything or meet anyone. I can’t handle the complications that come with time travel.
Maybe if I can see something in past without going in past, then I may like to see how Nalanda University looked like. I have been always curious about this from childhood and not sure why. But that would be it.

What is your favorite TV series?
This is very very very tough question. There are so many and even attempting to list them would be a crime.
So I can share with you the series I finished watched recently and loved a lot and that would be The Package. It was a really good series about a group of people visiting France and their tour guide. It is sweet and emotional. After watching that series Mont-Saint-Michel is now on my to-visit-before-I-die list of places.

The series that I am watching again currently is Moonlovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo. It was such a good series. I am watching it for third time and it gets
better every time I watch. My favorite character is Wang So.

What do you think love is? In present society?
Love for me is to care and to be cared for. Love is to be stubborn and to not give up. Love is to know that this person will always stand by you no matter
what.
I know it doesn’t apply for everyone because for everyone love means something else.
As far as present society is concerned, I do not want to comment or judge how people try to find love and be in love and how long their love last. Not only because I consider it rude, but it is insensitive as well. I have not lived their life and can never know what makes them do what they do. And to blame and criticize an age or a generation is not something I like to do. (I only complain about such things if they bug me personally)

If someone truly loves you but you don’t know due to some reason what would you do ?
If I don’t know, then there is nothing for me to do in that.

If you like memes then what was your favorite and if you don’t then why?
I like memes a lot, but I do not use them much.
My favorite ones are that of BTS. Because they are my favorite artist/celebrities ever, so theirs are the only memes that I have in my phone. Here are some of their memes. (Not sure if it is everyone’s cup of tea, cause some of them requires context)

–

Have you ever done something awkward and when asked you have denied? Then what you had done?
I mispronounce words all the time. But when someone points it out, I deny having said anything wrong. I put it on them that they heard it wrong.
I don’t admit my mistakes that easily,(even if I know that I have done something wrong ), that is a whole big issue of my life.

What makes you feel special?
When I achieve something, finish something by my efforts, I feel that I am capable of doing something in life- that makes me feel special. I consider myself not so talented, and the only thing I am good at is hard work. When that hard work pays off, it is one the best feelings in world.

At this moment I realize that by this post I have bombarded you with lots of drama pics and BTS memes. Sorry for that, but I couldn’t stop myself.

Now since we are at the end of this post, I would like to thank PritAmDas once again for nominating me and liking my work.

Also, FrejaTravels had nominated me for Mystery Blogger Award. I want to thank them as well for it. Again I apologize for the delay. I have answered their questions in the following post : Mystery Blogger Award. (You may have to scroll a lot, till you reach “Edited on 12 March 2019”)

Edited on: September 3, 2020

Ishita Gupta has nominated me for this award on June 2020. I am really thankful to her considering me in her nominations. Means a lot. Do visit her wonderful blog.

Here is the link to her post: https://thoughtsresonate.home.blog/2020/06/12/sunshine-blogger-award/

So here are the answers to the question she had posted (I tried to answer them as truly as I can):

What do you love to do, except blogging?
I love reading (mostly fiction), listening to music, watching series/movies/anime, learning languages (I am not at all good at this, as I do not have the discipline for learning on my own. It is difficult to make a a significant progress without discipline.). Apart from writing poems, I rarely do anything in terms of creating, most of what I like to do is to consume art.

Is there anything on your bucket list, which you could share with us?
First thing on my bucket list is attending BTS concert. (and also to watch them succeed in life and reach the highest potential of who they can be as an artist and as a person).
Other things that are there on my bucket list, that are a bit more abstract and without an end. They would be having a library full of all beautiful books and having the best collection of music, every music that is of my type, I want to know about it, to fall in love with it. I think this obsession of collecting things don’t stop with books and music, it applies to every good movie, series, animation, MVs. I think it would be easier to say I am hoarder of art and I want to enjoy this hoarding. 🙂 I am that weird person who experiences a work of art and ends up thinks the world has a bit more meaning because of its existence. I am melodramatic like that. (As I write this answer I am listening to “I LUV U” by Henry. It is a beautiful song. You can check it out if you are interested. Don’t forget to enable captions. :))

Is there any place in the world, that you desperately want to visit? Or someplace that has already captured your heart?
I don’t think I have a place like that in mind. I do like the idea of visiting Korea or Japan or other countries and places that I have seen on screen. It would be nice if I could but I don’t have the yearning to go anywhere. It is almost like, if I can go, well and good; if not, then it doesn’t matter. I think rather than just visiting a place, I like the idea of living there. When I see a place that I have not been to, what goes through my mind is “What would it be like if I woke up everyday to this city? How would it feel like to go to school here? How would it be like to experience every climate this place has day by day?” I think more than sight seeing or seeing just the good and the bad of the place briefly, I am more interested in knowing how living in a certain place feels like. I guess I am curious about how other people live their life.
That being said, I like to travel, but only in the right company. For me it doesn’t matter where I go, but with whom I am going. With wrong people, even the most beautiful and fun place can turn loneliest or frustrating place on earth.
(I have a feeling that I have answered this question all wrong.)

Do you like reading? If yes, could you share 5 of your favourite books?
I love reading.
Giving recommendation for books is a really tough task. If I pick one book, it feels I have wronged some other book. So what I am listing here is not the best books ever (that list doesn’t exist for me). This is a list of book that I have either read recently or the books that are coming to my mind right now:

1. “Alex” by Pierre Lemaitre
2. “Difficult Women” by Roxane Gay
3. “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky
4. “Crank” by Ellen Hopkins
5. “HYYH The Notes 1 (The Most Beautiful Moment in Life #1)” by Big Hit Entertainment

The last book “HYYH The Notes 1” is a part of Bangtan Universe storyline, a part of the story that is still going on. To completely understand and enjoy this book you would have to be familiar with this storyline that has been progressing (for few years) with music videos, songs, notes, etc. It is a rabbit hole and will take a lot of time if you want to get to know it. Just a disclaimer, that starting with this book without knowing the rest of storyline won’t be wise. But that being said experiencing HYYH story in overall is a very rewarding experience. Getting to know the incomplete story through music and lyrics and beautiful visuals and written word is a beautiful experience in its own. It makes you feel all kind of emotions. Some videos that can help you to introduce are this, this, and this.

If given a chance, would you like to change something about yourself ? If yes, what?
I would like to be more confident person. I do have many faults, but I am used to them. I have to some extent realized why my faults exist and how I would rather be the person that I am, because it all makes sense. But the one thing that always causes issues for me in life is my lack of confidence. I am not sure if I will ever have that. I always thought it would get better as I grow up, but things just went worse.

What is your life mantra?
Working hard. Dedicating myself to whatever you are doing. Living on emotions. Maintaining harmony. Loving passionately. Trying my best.

Do you have any weird phobias? Or any phobias?
I fear every thing. I think everything can cause harm. My mind sometimes work in “Final Destination” mode. But it is not like I am running from every place, living in paranoia locked up in home. It is more of like my mind just won’t stop processing how things can go wrong, how potentially harmful everything can be. It just keeps me on my toes and makes me distrustful.

What does an empty room remind you of?
It reminds of all the things that I could fill it up with. Of all the things that could change this place into a warm place one would look forward to return to. Empty room reminds me of potential of what it can be turned into.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
This is the first time I have been asked this question. I have not yet given it that serious thought. But if I had to list one thing it would – people who try to force their opinion on me.
I all in favor of independent thinking and I am fine if someone has a totally different opinion than mine. I am ready to discuss these differences also.
But what I hate is when in that discussion people try to tell me that I am wrong and they are right and that I should adopt their thinking because it is right.
We all have a certain idea or conclusive thought about a certain topic because of what we have been through, how and what we have lived through, what we have observed. When I meet someone who has totally differnt opinion than mine, I never try to convince them they are wrong. I try to get them know more, I try to understand what makes them think so, I want to know the life lived behind these ideas. I try my best to understand them without toning down my opinion on that subject. Even when they are wrong, I may tell them what lead me to have a certain belief, so they can decide for themselves if they need to revise the ideas they have.
Byut what people do is they start this discussion, turn it into an argument, turn this into a stage from where they can shout out their propaganda and won’t back down till the other person gives up and backs off.
I hate when people act like they will accept these difference of opinion and start these discussion but are just setting up stage to preach their own values, disregarding my experience and voice.
(That is one of the reason I never start these discussion, because I know where it will all lead to.)

What’s your spirit animal?
Panda.

What motivates you to write?
My love for literature and art actually is a hindrance for my writing. Cause they have resulted in such high standards in my mind that nothing I write is good enough. Because of these standards I sometimes feel like destroying everything I have written till now.
What makes me write is curiosity. I am curious of how I will end up writing if I continue to write.
Also, there is something about writing that is addicting. Even though it is hard work, even though it sometimes turn into pure torture. But I keep coming back to it. On some days when I can overlook what literature should be and shouldn’t be, I look back at something I had written, something I had forgotten about and I feel a sense of happiness in having created something that feels so true. But that feeling lasts only for few moments before my minds switches to analysis mode and I end up seeing everything wrong with what I write. But I think having those few moments of happiness are something I could never have felt if I didn’t write.

Quill Commander Award

So  UNIVERSE FIREFLIE  has once again nominated me for an award. I can’t thank her enough for kindness. Do visit her blog. She writes really well. 🙂

So the rules:

Thank the blogger who nominated you and post a link of their blog …(done)
List the rules of the award…(done)
Post a photo of your national flag and national anthem
Leave a favorite quote
Nominate some bloggers (won’t be doing that, as I already said, I totally don’t feel like doing this right now #WeirdMoodOfMine )

So, I am from India (I don’t think I have ever mentioned my nationality anywhere on my blog…let me check… it seems that I have…in another award post)

Here is a beautiful national flag of my country:

And national anthem of my country is “Jana Gana Mana” (written by Rabindra Nath Tagore) . I miss singing it so much. That would be one of the things I miss about school. (Yeah, but recently we started to sing national anthem in cinema halls, so that’s good 🙂 )

Favorite Quote:

“Be it a rock or a grain of sand, in water they sink as the same.” – Oldboy

I won’t say it is my favorite quote (there are too many to choose from). But it is a recent favorite. I saw Oldboy (2003) last weekend (yeah I am always late to watch/read good stuff). I liked it a lot. It is kind of twisted and dark movie, so I don’t think it is everyone’s cup of tea. But I liked the movie a lot. And this quote reminds me that even small actions can have huge impact on other’s life, that one may not intend. And we may forget things that we do because they have no consequence in our own life, but meanwhile that forgotten act may be enough to alter someone’s  life in huge way. The size or magnitude of your actions doesn’t determine the effect they have. (Somewhere it reminded me of butterfly effect also)

So that was it.

Again I would like to thank UNIVERSE FIREFLIE  for nominating me for this award.

Versatile Blogger Award

Hi,

So my soul sister UNIVERSE FIREFLIE nominated me for this award. Thanks a lot dear. 🙂 I am flattered that you like my blog and you thought of it. If you have not visited her blog, do visit. She writes wonderful stuff. 🙂 :D. Here is a link to her post on this award:(Click here)

So the rules:

-> 7 facts about me. (reminds me of those introduction in new schools, which made me so tense that I would end up forgetting who I am)

-> Nominate 15 bloggers for the award. (I might skip this rule, not sure, but today I don’t feel like doing this)

Facts:

(Warning: This can be boring. I am not that interesting person.)

1. I have maybe 2-3 diaries filled with quotes and the number of diaries will keep on increasing. I love making note of every beautiful thing I ever read. I like to hoard them as if they will not be there tomorrow. I feel I would forget all the things I have read, so I must make sure that I write them down (I don’t write quotes from the books/novels that I have bought, cause I have the book itself) And my fear is not unfounded. There was a WordPress blog I used to read, long before I started blogging. I loved that blog. I still remember it. Every word written was sooooo beautiful. But that blog ended up being protected. Thankfully, since I printed up dozens of posts from that blog (yeah I did that, I am that kind of crazy), at least I have something to remember, something to hang on to. Or else it would have all disappeared with all the things my memory can’t hold.
2. I have a tendency to alienate myself. I may have friends and people who love and care for me. But I always think I am burden on others, because of the way I am. I am really moody and will suddenly change my behavior for no apparent reason. I find it hard to talk to people, I have this huge gulf that separates me from this world. It is very difficult to explain it in words. But let’s just say I find life easy to handle when I am on my own. Since I do not have to worry about others and how I might make them suffer directly/indirectly or how I might affect them in negative way.
3. I don’t like to voice my opinions about disliking something. By ‘something’ I mean if I come across a book or a movie or a series or similar stuff, and if I don’t like it, I don’t post reviews or comments about not liking it. I will not even mention about that, until someone else takes up that topic and ask me specifically what is my opinion on that. I have four reasons for that: first, art is pretty subjective and I don’t want to discourage someone only because what they have created is not according to my taste; second, with time as my understanding of the world changes, I end up liking the stuff that I couldn’t before. I can now appreciate it because I can understand it; third, I don’t have time to spend on hating stuff, that is just too tiring, if I don’t like something I just move on to other stuff, no need for all the drama and fourth, I don’t think my opinions matter that much.
4. In contradiction to the point above. If someone has written something or created something and is asking my opinion on it. I can be pretty brutal. I will end up writing essays on it. Most of the stuff I will tell will be pretty disheartening. It is because I think when someone is looking for feedback, it is to improve. But I also tell that what they can do to make it better. Constructive feedback. I specialize in it. 🙂 Some people find it useful, some people find it irritating. But since I won’t open my mouth until they ask me to, so I don’t think people need to worry about that much.
5. In this whole process of writing poems. The two phases I hate most are: that dreadful time before I write and that irritating period after I write. I think I only like the actual process of writing. Before I write, I am pretty much convinced that I will never be able to write anything in my life again and after I write I don’t like what I have written. It is not that I hate my poems, I just think, I am repetitive. I feel I am writing the same thing again and again. But one of the reasons I can upload the poems (that I have no confidence in) is that I have posted worse poems and that means I am improving. I am just curious how much more I can improve.
6. There is a serial called “Zindagi Gulzar Hai” and in that there is this character (protagonist) Kashaf. I feel that I am exactly like her. There is so much similarity, it seemed unreal when I first saw that (because I have seen the serial so many time, I have lost count). Even the kind of things she says.  But the good thing is, I like that character and ended up thinking I may not be as bad as I think I am. I am just being hard on myself. 🙂
7. I spent last night listening to songs of Hope World. The songs are so awesome. Even though I have no clue what the lyrics mean (waiting for lyric videos to upload, what would we do without our precious translators). I know lyrics of only one song out of 7 songs of the mixtape hixtape 🙂 . And Hobi has done such a good job. And since we are on topic of mixtape. I also loved the AGUST D mixtape. I can relate more to the songs of this mixtape.  (Just so you know these are solo mixtape of BTS members. And it may not seem like a fact about me, but it is maybe the only meaningful thing on this list. In fact, this was the first fact I wrote on this list.)

So that is the end of this post. (I hope I didn’t bore you. )

I would like to thank UNIVERSE FIREFLIE  once again who nominated me and have left such lovely comments on so many of my post. Thanks a lot dear. 🙂

 

 

The Mystery Blogger Award

It seems I am getting lots of award this year. 🙂

So I have been nominated by Wanderlust and How Useful It Is for The Mystery Blogger Award. Thanks a lot for remembering my blog. 🙂 They have wonderful blog, do visit.

In the words of Okoto Enigma, the creator of this award, this is what this award stands for:

WHAT IS MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD?
“Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.
– Okoto Enigma

RULES
1.Put the award logo/image on your blog (done)
2.List the rules.(done)
3.Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.(done)
4.Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well (done)
5.Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
6.You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
7.Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
8.Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
9.Share a link to your best post(s)

3 things about me:

I never accept my mistake (even though I know it is my mistake)

My kidneys are probably going to fail in future, cause I don’t feel thirsty (94% of time) and I forget to drink water.

I love ice-creams (who doesn’t)

Questions from  How Useful It Is:

1) What do you like to do most this time of year?

Nothing special. The same old routine :reading books, watching series and waiting for weekends.
2) Have you already plan for how many books you will read next year?

No plans. I rarely plan about how many books to read. But I assume I may be able to read minimum of 30 books next year.
3) What is your #1 goal next year?

Get a driving licence.
4) Are you happy with the direction your blog is heading?

Yes, pretty happy. I never thought that this blog would last this long. (I am too surprised that it did). And to have such good feedback from all of you guys is really amazing. Thanks a lot for your support.
5) Weird: What extreme do you go to take care of books you own?

The extreme thing I do is to never lend my books to others. And it breaks my heart to say ‘no’ to someone who is showing interests in the books that I love. But sadly, I still say ‘no’. 😦

Questions from  Wanderlust:

1. HOW do you eat your chicken? (e.g., skin first, then the meat or both at the same time, or meat first… idk, be honest okay?)

I don’t really like eating chicken. 😦 But I think I prefer pieces with more fiber rather than the chewy ones. I don’t know whether it makes sense, but I don’t know terminology for chicken explanation. 🙂

2. If you were to get stuck in an island all alone, would you wish for company or just leave the island and get back to the noisy place you call home?

I would rather be home. I don’t like being stuck anywhere. Better idea would be to send all noisy people to that island, so I can be at my home, in peace.

3. If you were given a chance to create your monster, what would it be and what would you call it?

Monster..hmm..tough question. Maybe a monster that could fly and will give me ride to places I want to go, without being stuck in traffic. I am not sure about the name though.

4. When walking, do you put your right foot or left foot first?

Never payed attention to that. Right now I tried walking, and I put my right foot. I think it must be right foot.

5. What do you think happens to the cockroaches when they die?

They don’t die. They pretend to die. That is what I think happens.

Link to my best post:

“THE ARRIVAL”- Nayana Nair

Nominating: (Not complying strictly with this rule, just nominating people I can think of)

Jehona Thaqi

JB McPayne

extremesofunknownshadows

renxkyoko’s space

Eyes + Words

Scribbled Verse

Mused into the thoughts

Questions:

1. What is your current favorite song?
2. Most rude you have ever been?
3. One silly superstition that you actually believed in as a child?
4. One word that you use most in conversation?
5. What is one good thing and a bad thing about getting awards?

Wanderlust and How Useful It Is. Thank you once again for nominating me. Thanks a lot.

Edited info on 31 Jan, 2017:

Shrushti nominated me for this award on 22 Jan, 2017. Thanks a lot for nominating me. Do visit her wonderful blog.

Here’s a link to the post:

https://wordsbyshrush.wordpress.com/2017/01/22/the-mystery-blogger-award-what/

Since I have got this award already (and I am not being vain/proud here), I would be directly jumping to Q/A part (since everything else would approximately same 🙂 )

So here are the questions from Shrushti:

>>What does a happy day in your life look like? Tell me.

A happy day in my life would be: to wake lie in bed reading novel in morning while it’s raining outside, to eat mom’s food, to spend time with my sister, cousins and friends, to watch a beautiful movie, to go somewhere where no one knows me and to roam around aimless around the city (if someone could guarantee me my safety too), to take a stroll at midnight. I don’t need all of these things to have a happy day. If I get even one of them in a day, that is enough.

>>What is one thing you wish you could say to your best friend/ person you love that you haven’t been able to?

I would like to tell them, how much I appreciate and love them everyday. Even if I may not show it. I would like to tell them how they have made my life better just by being there. I would like to thank them for tolerating and loving me back, even though I know it would be hard on them to do so.

>>Would you rather be a child again for a week or be able to take a peak into your future life for 5 mins?

I would rather be child again for a week. I don’t want to know my future. I always dread these scenarios in stories where a character can know something about future. Especially if it about themselves. It is kind of scary. Till I am oblivious to my future, there is hope, there is infinite possibilities that could fill up the years awaiting me. Knowing how it is going to turn out would be disappointing and scary.

>>Have you ever had writer’s block? How do you think one can overcome it?

I have writer’s block all the time. How I respond to it, totally depends on my mood.

There are times I can’t write, and I just let it be, I won’t be writing for months. It doesn’t bother me that much. I believe, writing is to a large extend reflecting on life. But it somehow distances me from life. If I am observing something, I can’t enjoy it. So sometimes I prefer to forget about writing for a long time.

But there are times when I desperately want to write, but I can’t. It feels similar to thirst. But not being able to quench it. In those cases, I just write any rubbish I can on paper: which can range from, what I see right now, about what I am doing recently, it kind of starts as a diary, but at end something in my mind switches and I don’t feel that that was ever a block.

>>Have you done anything out of your comfort zone recently? What was it and how did it feel?

Yes, I think so. I have taken up a job that is not at all suitable for me. It continuously puts in positions/scenarios that I have dreaded all my life. Every morning I wake up, and try to find a way to escape it. But still I end up going to work, try to do my job with utmost sincerity, even if it makes me uncomfortable. But it doesn’t feel that bad. Because, now I have relatively more free time to myself, and can spend my time of all things I wanted to do. So I do not completely resent my work, but yes, it does feel uncomfortable. But the way I am trying to look at it is, by the end of this ordeal I would become a better version of myself, I would be able to endure more in life, if nothing else.

Edited on 15 Jan 2018

Tanvir nominated me for this award on May 18, 2017 (my bad for realizing it so late and giving such a late response). Thanks a lot for nominating me dear. It means a lot that my blog crossed your mind. Also I would like to thank you for all the likes and comments that you have provided for so many of my post. It makes me really happy to know what you think of my poems.

So here is the link to the post:

https://myexpressionofthoughtsblog.wordpress.com/2017/05/18/the-mystery-blogger-award/

So here are my answers to the question posted (I will skip rest of the things due to the reasons mentioned above in the post):

>>Which of your friends you are proud of? Why?

I am proud of almost all my friends, as I have very few to begin with. They are all doing the best in life and are nice people. And I believe, in this world, being nice and staying nice, is something really difficult to do. And I look up to them for that. (I am not a very nice person, in fact I can be pretty mean 🙂 )

>>Which accomplishment you are most proud of?

My blog. This is the only thing I have being doing consistently and not quit on. This is a miracle for me that I have lasted this long, since I try to avoid attention in any form and have reaalllly low self-confidence. That’s mostly the reason I end up quitting most of stuff. Yeah so I am still writing is a really huge thing for me.

>>Who is your best and worst teacher? Why?

I had a teached in fifth grade- Rita Sisodia. She was pretty cool. She was out maths and english teacher. In higher classes she was our maths teacher only. But she was such a lovely person. She used to teach so well. She had such awesome personality. I was so impressed by her.

Worst teacher…I have had quite a long list of bad teachers. And since I have changed many schools (since my father used to get transferred to different cities in India due to his job). I realized that there are many teachers who have lot of knowledge about the subjects they teach, but are not good at expressing themselves well or do not know to make the other person understand the same. But they are not bad teacher. They just don’t have talent to teach. But bad teachers are those who really don’t care about the students and don’t even try to do their best. Those teachers really irritate me.

>>Best thing you remember about your kindergarten?

No worries for studies or future. 🙂

>>If you are given chance to be president/ prime minster for one day, what would you do to set an example?

No idea. I thought a lot for this. My mind goes blank at that. So leaving this as it is. Not because I don’t have issues that support or that needs to be solved. But I am that sort of person who just beliefs that I cannot put my belief and my values on someone else. (Every reasonable point has an equally reasonable counter-point).

Edited on 27 Feb 2018

Some time ago (a month ago,  to be precise) Moyatori nominated be for Mysterious Blogger Award. I am really thankful to her for nominating me for this award. She has a lovely blog and she writes so good that you would regret not have found her soon. So do visit her blog. 🙂

Though this post is coming a bit late, but I hope my feelings of gratitude reach you regardless of my delay.

I am not entirely sure what Mysterious Blogger Award means and I am equally not sure whether I can be considered “mysterious”. But I like it’s sound and vibe. 🙂 I wish I was that mysterious though (would have been cool).

Here is the link to the post:

https://moyatorium.wordpress.com/2018/01/20/demystifying-the-mysterious-an-award-post-actually/

Now here is the main reason that it took me so much time to do this post. Most of the questions were on kale (about which I have no idea- ignorant me) and I procastinated this soooo much thinking I would have better answers. But sadly I don’t. I googled it and found it is something like cabbage and I do not have much thoughts on cabbage. So I decided on a workaround for this. I am going to replace kale with chocolate. (Moyatori this is the first time I was clueless how to answer the questions, really impressed with you 🙂 )

Here are the answers to the questions (again I would like to mention that I am skipping rest of the rules due to reasons mentioned above):

>>What’s your opinion on kale chocolate?
I love chocolate, who doesn’t. (Many don’t and I know that fact but let’s just play along with this). I like dark chocolate more though. The only chocolate I hate is….(don’t hate me for this)…milk chocolate. Even if I try to persuade my tongue into thinking, this is also chocolate, it is same. But my tongue is like, “You can’t fool me”. I have tried to like it, I have failed, I accept my defeat.

>>If you have to eat kale chocolate, how would you prepare it?
I like chocolate in anything, in any form. I can’t make up my mind for this, it all depends on my mood.

>>Would you rather: kale chocolate salad or kale chocolate smoothie?
Both. I am really greedy when it comes to chocolate (and ice cream as well). I haven’t had chocolate salad though, would definitely like to try that. (I hope chocolate salad exists)

>>If somebody buys you a kale-green chocolate brown sweater for Christmas, would you wear it?
Definitely.

>>What’s the longest time you’ve been in love for?
Longest time…. 7 years till…and still counting. So let’s see how long this last. (The over-dramatic romantic heart of mine wants it to be forever 🙂 )

So fun facts:

• I was almost about to make a new post for this, cause my stupid brain realized it really late that “mystery blogger award” and “mysterious blogger award ” are basically same. And I realized it only when I google the creator  of this award to mention them in the post.
• I am still wondering was replacing kale with chocolate a good move. Not sure. Forgive me. 😦

Edited on 9 April 2018

I was  nominated by HemasSphere for this award. I am really thankful to her for consider my blog worth remembering. Means a lot. Do check out her lovely blog. 🙂

Here is the link to her post:

https://hemassphere.wordpress.com/2018/03/15/nominated-for-the-mystery-blogger-award/

Here are my answers to the questions (really tough questions) that she asked:

>>If you had the ability to speak and let people know of your thoughts the first day you were born, what would you say and to whom?

“Not this again”. That’s what I would say. 🙂

>>If you were given a choice to live on moon, would you take it? And would you go alone or take someone with you? And who would you take along, if you chose to and why?

I don’t want to go to moon. When I imagine myself outside earth anywhere in space, I feel a kind of dread. I don’t have a good feeling for it. So yeah I will probably stay here only.

>> If you had a choice to be invisible for a day, what would you do?

I would just mind my own business with the relief that no one can judge me now. Other than that I never had much interest in the power of becoming invisible. On the other hand, I always liked Mystique’s power (from X-Men), that is something interesting , to mimic someone’s appearance. Even though I may not have any use for this power, but I think it is a really cool power. (Now I have strayed too far from the question, as I normally end up doing)

>>Is there that 1 word which you hate using and hate to hear people use it? What is that 1 word?

The word that I hate most and that irritates me always is : “hmm”. This annoyance increases exponentially in text conversation. The moment someone says hmm, I feel like saying my goodbye’s to them for forever, and never talking to them again. To me it sounds like: “Whatever, as if I was listening to you. This is the most convenient thing to say especially when I have not been paying attention/ wants this conversation to end as soon as possible”.

>>As a writer, what would be that you want to tell the world often?

To appreciate the world and it’s beauty irrespective of the issue and problem in your life. If we stay alive through all the struggles in life and never realize that the world we lived the whole time, it would be really a waste.

Edited on 12 March 2019

In the month of June last year (2018), FrejaTravels nominated me for this award.
And as you can see I have taken a lot of time to reply to that. But better late than never.
I am have really grateful that they nominated me for this award. It really means a lot to me, that they remembered my blog.
Here is link to the post:

Mystery Award

Do visit their awesome blog. You’d love it.

So here are my answers to the the questions from FrejaTravels:

>>What is your dream vacation destinations?

Now this changes from time to time. If you had asked me this question some years ago I might have answered something else. But as of now, since I am  watching too many Korean and Japanese movies and dramas, so I would go to these two countries, to visit all the places I have seen on screen. Also, major and most important reason for my wish to go there is BTS concert. I want to attend one of their concert before I die. And it doesn’t seem they are coming to India anywhere in near future.

(BTS concert: This is where I want to be)

>>What is your favorite food?

Maggi noodles. Not sure if everyone would get what it is though. It is a noodle by Nestle company. Maybe I like it so much because that was the only thing that could be considered as junk food in my childhood. And the only junk food in my life was very dear to me. Then another favorite dish- Ice Cream

>> Will you go to the Moon if there is no future for human on earth?

I want to say “no”, but I am not sure, being near death can change a person’s thinking or point of view about life. I am never confident on how I would react in such situations. But staying in my comfort zone, I would answer “no”.

>> What type of books do you read the most?

I mostly read fiction. Preferably with good plot, awesome dialogues, a likable character/character I can root for/character I can relate to, or the stories with beautiful philosophical reflections.

>> Are you happy?

I am pretty much happy in life. I am more happy than I deserve to be.

So that’s all I have got. Thank you once again for all who have nominated me for this award. I am ever grateful to you, to have provided me with little more confidence in myself (however short-lived that maybe).

The Real Neat Blog Awards

Thank you The Shimmer Within Her for nominating me for this award.

(https://theshimmerwithinher.com/2016/10/27/the-real-neat-blog-award/)

I am glad and honored that you considered me worthy for this award. (When I get an award, what never fails to amazes me is someone actually remembers about my blog, thank you 🙂 )

The Rules:

• Thank and link the blogger who nominated you.
• Answer the questions asked.
• Nominate 7 more bloggers for the award (it’s nice to advise them independently)
• Create seven questions for your Nominees.

Answers of questions asked:

Name one person who has helped you become the person you are today.

I think that would be my sister (Nikitha). She has been a source of joy in my life and my constant support. She is 3 years younger than me and could write better than me (if she puts her mind to it, which she won’t). I have posted some of her writing on my blog under the category “Fragmented Thoughts” I admire how she always wants to learn something new. She keeps me sane and I am ever grateful to her for that. 🙂

How did you decide on the name of your blog?

I actually had some other name in my mind (which was already taken). This name is from first line from a tamil song “Nenjukkul Peidhidum”, a beautiful song from movie “Varnam Aaayiram”

How would you describe your style?

I am going to assume this is in relation to my writing.(I have no style otherwise). I can never write on my will. Most of the time, I am just staring at blank page. I think poem just happen. I love poems that rhyme, but I rarely use rhyme in my poem . Mostly due to the fact that when I try to put rhyme, it doesn’t seem honest to me. I will be introducing lines that disturb or somehow don’t belong to that poem, in order to rhyme. I am never sure whether what I write classifies as poem. I think my style is just honest writing , waiting for a poem to come to me.

What is your favourite dessert?

That would be ice-cream and gulab jamun.

How do you like to relax?

Reading novels, listening to songs and sleeping

Describe yourself in 3 words.

Stubborn, Bookworm and Curious

Who was the last person you said ‘Thank you’ to and why?

That would be my mentor at work. For plugging my laptop charger (the socket was near to her and I was not able to reach it)

My questions:

1. Who is your best friend and what do you love about him/her ?
2. Most scared you have ever been?
3. One thing you could change about yourself?
4. Your most precious belonging?
5. One childhood memory?
6. What irritates you?
7. What do you love most about WordPress?
8. Are you the person, you always wanted to be?
9. Worst nightmare ever?
10. Friendship or Love? Which is more important to you?
11. Your best quality?

My nominees are:

JB McPayne

extremesofunknownshadows

O Shaggy Re

Peace, Love and Patchouli

Leonard Durso

How Useful It Is

Noora

 

Thank you The Shimmer Within Her once again for nominating me. 🙂

Edited info on 4 May 2017

yuhublogger has nominated me for this wonderful award. I am thankful that you thought of my blog and considered it worthy of attention. Thanks a lot.

Here is a link for the related post. (A good place to start to know more about yuhublogger and the wonderful blog )

https://yuhublogger.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/awards-and-tags/

As I have once got this award, I’d directly proceed to answer the tough and interesting questions asked 🙂

1) Why did you start blogging?
I have no idea why I started blogging. I think I was just curious as to what blogging is.Just wanted to try it out once. 🙂

2) What is the one change you see in yourself after you started your blog?
I think I have become more consistent in writing first. Earlier, I didn’t write much. I used to write 2-3 poems in an year. Then compared to earlier, most posts are my own writings.

3) When do you write the best? I mean, is it when you are sad and moody or cheerful and happy?

I write best when I am sad. I am incapable of writing when I am too happy. But I am mostly sad, not because I have something to be sad about. That is just my natural state. I think I was born sad. It’s something that I cannot do anything about. I don’t know  whether it is good thing or not. But since I can write more, maybe it’s a good thing only.

4) Are your stories/poems happy ones or sad ones, predominantly? Do you think it tells something about the emotions you are going through?

My poems are mostly very sad. Sometimes they are so depressing that I feel like   throwing them away. I don’t want my poems to be sad. But what to do. That’s all I can write.
Once in a blue moon, I do write about something happy or hopeful or something neutral. But most of it is just sad. What I write about is not necessarily about my emotions. Sometimes it can be sadness of someone I know, of some fictional character in my mind or even of some character from a movie/ novel. I think I am sadness magnet. I am attracted to everything sad. My heart can relate to all kinds of sadness. My answers are so depressing 😦 😦 😦
Ideally what I want to write about are struggles of humans, their feeling, about beauty of love and faith and how fortunate we to be here and have people who love us and whom we love. And how beautiful all of this is. But I am incapable of doing that right now. Maybe one day I will write about this.

5) What is the best comment you’ve received on your blog so far?
Though I have received such sweet comments over these years. This community has been very kind to me and motivated me a lot to write. But as of now, recent comments that I can recall are these two, that are too good to be true. Sometimes I can’t accept  myself that such praise was said about my writing 🙂 But thanks a lot for everyone  who has helped me to write better and who have given me that little confidence for  one more day at least.

 

george agak     (for poem : Dreaming of Love ) 

I’m envious, believe me. you have a way to weave words in vivid images that make your poems living things.

 JoAnna   (for poem : Tears are not the bad part )

 I read this as Natalie’s re-blog yesterday when I was in a hurry. Maybe it got into my subconscious, because, today, I cried twice, after not having cried in a couple weeks at least. Tonight, I came upon this post again, read it more carefully, and was so comforted by the reminder and affirmation that I’m not losing my mind or being weak. Just processing grief.

 

Thank you yuhublogger for nominating me for this award. I am glad my blog crossed your mind. 🙂 Thanks a lot dear.