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“Return” – Nayana Nair

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The cry that was stuck in my throat
turned out to be my name ,
that I had forgotten long ago.
Probably when there were too many of me
for me to hold,
to make space for the all other names
that I must never forget.
How often have I let go of my own hand
to hold the hand of others?
How often the part of me that threw away
never wanted to return to me?
How often I have been left empty handed
and alone at the end?
Yet I go down this same road
only for your sake.

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“Strangely” – Nayana Nair

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Strangely,

her heart no longer sounded like

an empty room,

an empty stage,

an empty world

with only her voice.

Strangely, for once

a voice came into this emptiness

and filled it with warmth

greater than her,

greater than her sorrow.

This poem, that she held in her hands.

This poem, that she holds in her eyes

that she holds in her tears.

Makes her feel as if

finally she is not alone.

“Then, Now” – Nayana Nair

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Then

There is more to life
than merely staying alive.
And happiness is all I sought.
It was a small thing to ask,
I couldn’t figure out why
it was the only thing I never got.

Now

There is more to life
than merely wanting happiness.
Courage to live one more day
is all that I need.
For happiness was never here to stay.
In the end I was left alone
with this life,
which I wanted and loved.
Yet, this life, I couldn’t bear.

“The day we held hands” – Nayana Nair

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The silence wrapping our words
was not born out of a deed or two.
Or out of lack of love.
We didn’t wake up one day
and began feeling alone.
the day we held hands
We felt the alienation
that only love can bring.
No great love can
change what we were.
Where the plains of our own
lives and its insecurities met
there we see a crack,
to remind us everyday
that we never fit with each other.

“My Night sky” – Nayana Nair

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You dip your hand
in my heart,
kiss my poems
as they are.
You hold my pulse
in your wrist.
You hold my shadows
in your mist.
You can swim in the rivers of my night sky
studded with most beautiful words.
But I will be alone in my sadness
and you in yours.
For you cannot bleed with me
but only because of me.

“To settle, To rest” – Nayana Nair

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I don’t know what to say.
I hear your hurt.
I feel your words against my skin.
The words that have left your mouth,
left your heart,
stay suspended alone in the air.
All I can do is
to give them some space
on my hands to settle
and to rest.
Or else,
I am afraid they will be lost
just like you.

“People” – Nayana Nair

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I long yearned for
someone to understand me,
accept me.
Is that what they call friends?
I too had such friends.
I yearned for
someone to adore me.
I believed it was love.
And now since I had my share of both,
I wish I could be alone,
I could be free.
For I know the constraint people are.
That love ties you up,
puts you in prison,
that stands
even after they leave.

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