whatever this is.
till I find a way to hide it,
get rid of it,
or kill it.
They say I will die the moment
I set the monster in me ablaze.
But this is the reason
warnings no longer work on me.
This is why I cannot live the way I want.
This is why ‘what I now want’
is ‘what I never ever wanted to want’.
Don’t take pity on me
nor on this thing that eats me
and replaces my every cell
with hateful words
and spiteful actions.
Why are you holding me down?
Why are you holding me back?
Why do you want to preserve me like this-
at my worst?
I am becoming better at creating excuses.
I am becoming better at forgetting the hurt I cause.
It kills me to see myself straying away from my ideals.
Doesn’t that matter a bit?
(Image taken from theredboa.blogspot.com)
Last night I got a message from an old friend of mine. The message said,” How would you define friendship?” Well, the question was followed by exchange of many sms
Which at last concluded to the point, that there is no so called a rigid definition of friendship. Its worth and its meaning are too deep to be expressed in a few words.
But, the question lingered in my mind, what is friendship? It was not an attempt to define it rather to understand its nature…Some say “Friends are those people who have the same enemies as you do”…seems right to an extent. But it never matched my case. Most of the friends I made were at a time when I was new to place and had no chance of having an enemy. I never had an enemy…I always made one. So this justification was eliminated.
Then in a book I read “Friends are people who make you happy”. Well that seemed to fit in a bit. You probably won’t make friend with a person who doesn’t make you feel good. Whenever we remember about old friends of ours, we always remember the happy times, the times when they helped us and the times we helped them. We always felt good around them. We can be ourselves around them. They don’t judge us, and we can fool around with them like small child and no one would object. Being around them gives us the freedom, we don’t get in other relations.
But what I really think it is not just the freedom we get around being friends..I consider my friends important as they are related to me by my choice…not like blood relation that are dependent on your fate….you are with them by your own will…you can leave them at any time…you can stay with them….there is no compulsion…their fate is not related to you…if they get thrown out of job, you won’t suffer…if they fail in exams..you may get sad for them but still, it doesn’t affect your life….just like 2 person who meet during a journey..spend sometime with each other and leave but still remember each other…..they love us although it’s not compulsary…they cry with us although our grief won’t affect their life…they are happy at our success although their live are in ruins….they have no selfish reason to stay with us..still they stay..through thick and thin…we may be crazy..but they don’t mind….i don’t think people , atleast me, make friends with someone just because they are intelligent..or beautiful..or funny….
God just send some angels for us …knowing how much we are struggling in life …and how difficult it is to fight this battle of life alone…When the angels come into our lives..they take away our pain….the battle turns into a journey, a beautiful journey…which you never forget for your whole life…when you look back those would be the only moments in life when you really lived your life….and looking back on the memory lane we can’t imagine a life without these angels…as if they were meant to be part of our lives….who says angels don’t exist….i believe in angels..i’ve seen them….those angels are my friends. My Best Friends.
(Image taken from friendship-cards.blogspot.com)