“Creature of Claw” – Nayana Nair

How long should I bleedfor the one who holds the knife. I pluck another flower of kindnessto appease the one who won’t even smile for me.He looks at it and tells me the tested foolproof waysto kill this useless plant that grows in meand cracks his shield. He tells me he will love me moreifContinue reading ““Creature of Claw” – Nayana Nair”

“Born Like This” – Nayana Nair

“i was born like this”, I lie,when I really want to say “the normal ones, the sane onesare surprisingly excellent at breaking anyone without any guilt whatsoever. i no longer have strengthto leave them, or beg them,or handle the repercussion of wanting them. i fear them only when i crythough i am not exactly sureContinue reading ““Born Like This” – Nayana Nair”

“Anything is better than this” – Nayana Nair

There is another in your heart.In your mind there is always a new another-someone you could have had.“Anything is better than this”, as you so often say.I wonder if the hell of your imagination has my face.For long my hell has been – you, keeping your options open.My hell has been – wondering if itContinue reading ““Anything is better than this” – Nayana Nair”

“Backseat” – Nayana Nair

we get onto the carthat we wish was stoleni look at her (not my lover, yet),at him (my friend – we share the same passion of finding new things to be disappointed about),i look at the the small bags we have packedand realize that this is far too less to start a lifei count themContinue reading ““Backseat” – Nayana Nair”

“Letters from my lover” – Nayana Nair

what is the use of loving youif you won’t speak less and be less for the sake of my ego,if you don’t have the proportions or face to brag about,if you won’t sleep with me,if you have “anxiety attacks” just when i am having fun(it is embarrassing, grow up)if my mom won’t like you,if youContinue reading ““Letters from my lover” – Nayana Nair”

“Before I Forget You”- Nayana Nair

I wanted to write something about you,before I start forgetting-who you were,who i was with you,how we lived,and how we learned how to not live,how we felt the extremes of helplessness,with each other. But I do not want to be the only voice actor in this otherwise silent movie.I could never read your lips.I neverContinue reading ““Before I Forget You”- Nayana Nair”

“No Other Choice” – Nayana Nair

When I held your hands, you told me I am calculating. When I listened to your worries you told me that it is because I have no other choice, because I have no one else anyway. When I cried you told me I am manipulating. When I speak of my feelings for you, you tellContinue reading ““No Other Choice” – Nayana Nair”

“Too Good and Too Sweet” – Nayana Nair

love? no, i suffer from no such thing. even if i do, that is an easy illness. there are delusions that i can buy that can ease all these pains of affection. if nothing else, my lover and my heart knows all the lies, that can put me to sleep even when my world burns.Continue reading ““Too Good and Too Sweet” – Nayana Nair”

“The Usual” – Nayana Nair

Sure I don’t feel hollow for the every minute we don’t speak. Sure I don’t wait for your messages when I am with friends. And I don’t feel weak even when your anger breaks my back and your love breaks my heart. You told me something was wrong with me and this is not howContinue reading ““The Usual” – Nayana Nair”

“Book that I can’t read” – Nayana Nair

The book that I can’t read is not abandoned on the shelves has not been moved to the lowest rack because it is bad. But because so much of me is filled in it. So many words from my heart reside on those pages, that I am bound to question if this is the reasonContinue reading ““Book that I can’t read” – Nayana Nair”