You stand beside the fire” – Nayana Nair

In the rubble with nerves hiding sparks,in the nest of sleeping explosives,again it is you.Again you are here to prove somethingby doing something unasked for. You build a place for warm tea,for all our shivering ghosts to haunt.You place the chairs that are not chairsbut buckets that cannot hold anything now.There are chairs that areContinue reading “You stand beside the fire” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (22)” – Nayana Nair

Was it 5 years ago, or 6that we all sat togetherlooking at the bright beginningof another series of setbacksthat we were becoming.The coldness of the wood,the ruffle of papers, the moment beforewe learned to truly hate ourselves. I miss that. As we stood waiting in linefor something to take awayeverything we were just beginning toContinue reading ““What I Remember (22)” – Nayana Nair”

“Don’t tell me” – Nayana Nair

Unlike your descriptions,the green doesn’t wait for the sun.It doesn’t know what waiting is,what the word ‘sun’ is, it doesn’t even knowthat you are the its spokesperson. I am not coming at your throat dear,it’s just that I feel, as time passesthat you see me more as that greenthan your woman. You cut my sentencesContinue reading ““Don’t tell me” – Nayana Nair”

“Away from the City of Saints” – Nayana Nair

so the saint i read about walked this land,looked at this river, looked at this sky,and stood where I stand. in the cases of glass there are letters,there are feelings i cannot understand.they say he made this place with lovehere his everything ends, where his nothing began. but the glass turned into mirrorshis writing becameContinue reading ““Away from the City of Saints” – Nayana Nair”

“Empty Shells” – Nayana Nair

The list of all the words that I use and don’t know meaning of: friend, understanding, dream, ethics, distance, space, wait, promise, family, kindness, virtue, trust, love, love, love, love, love, love, (I was told I need to be especially obsessed with love if I want to be normal) I, me, memory (real or invented),Continue reading ““Empty Shells” – Nayana Nair”

“Holding onto you” – Nayana Nair

As I use your ideals and words as the dressing to the greens that I hate, that I find hard to chew, I try to make myself understand you, convince myself that I am in wrong and I just know it yet. I remind myself that this time I can’t get it wrong, that thisContinue reading ““Holding onto you” – Nayana Nair”

“Can’t Choose Something Better” – Nayana Nair

You stand in the middle of every green field. You stand in front of every road, every direction that promises me something better, a world where the thoughts in my mind can finally settle. But because you are here at the beginning of everything I cannot find in myself the will to begin anything newContinue reading ““Can’t Choose Something Better” – Nayana Nair”

“The day we held hands” – Nayana Nair

The silence wrapping our words was not born out of a deed or two. Or out of lack of love. We didn’t wake up one day and began feeling alone. The day we held hands, we felt the alienation that only love can bring. No great love can change what we were. Where the plainsContinue reading ““The day we held hands” – Nayana Nair”