“Eventually” – Nayana Nair

bcde51a3a956b037919f95616d4311aa--girls-bedroom-bedroom-ideas

This jail, that I could not break out of,
it had bars made of petals,
ceilings lighted with memories
and under my feet
the hearts of people beating only by my love
(or so I wanted to believe).
It was the fragile nature of this confinement
that made my escape impossible.
And even though I was a captive-
that small space was also a world,
a less harsher world.

Once I make my way out,
there would be nowhere to return to.
It was a bubble that couldn’t be remade
by regrets and tears.
For many reasons, I promised myself an escape everyday
without even trying to leave.
I know I will leave eventually.
At some point, we all have left those rooms-
that feel like prison when lived in
and feel like unattainable dreams once lost.

“CURSE”-Nayana Nair

images

To wander free

And still be held captive in your life, in your fears.

To giggle and smile

While you drown in your own tears.

To deny all help with a ‘no’

while inside you cry out for ‘yes’.

To be lost to yourself

But still hoping to be found.

To be doing one thing

And being another.

To be split in two

And still be one.

To be torn apart between

the should and want.

To love-not wholly

To be loved-not enough

A love-never complete.

To be your own greatest enemy

And your sole best friend.

Running from yourself

Is no escape.

For this curse which you dread

Is the darkness which you’re drawn to.

The curse of being afraid to die

And yet afraid to live.