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Tag Archives: care

“What went wrong” – Nayana Nair

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Let us not delve into the question
of what went wrong.
I have loved heartache
even as I was trying to run away from it.
I have missed the mess my life was
when I was granted the calm
that I begged for.
Everything I wanted
could never soothe my wounds.
Everything I have loved
was never good for me.
I guess somewhere in my life
I grew numb to kindness and care.
Somewhere in my life
I started mistaking pain for love.
All things were meant to go wrong from there.

“Against the proof of experiences” – Nayana Nair

girl-alone

There is nothing more confusing
than the love of people who
never really known you.
Who have always been caring
without being affected.

bfl

There is nothing more heart-breaking
than to doubt the intention
of people who actually take an effort.

bfl

There is nothing more difficult
to trust someone against the proof of experiences
for reason as small as a smile.
To be thankful, without being bitter.

bfl

“Knock” – Nayana Nair

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My life is divided into different rooms
as is my heart.
For as long as I remember,
from the time I used to care for decorations
to the time I am too lazy to clean up.
From the moments of sweet solitude by the window
to the clinking glasses and winking eyes.
The room belonged more to them
than to me.

blueflower
And I often found it unsettling,
as if on a night
when I would be hiding under covers
not knowing what to fear,
someone would knock at the door
and with that knock, would come a pair of shoes
and a set of clothes, holding a person
whose face, motive or aim
would soon be inconsequential.

blueflower
And slowly she would drag me
out of each room,
snatching away each memory that she touched,
knocking down my bookcases filled with my escape,
tearing away the wallpapers
behind which I hid my unvoiced cries.
The doors would be shut on my face,
leaving me out in a storm on a moonless night,
leaving me alone to face all that I didn’t know of
taking away all that I know.

“Bubble” – Nayana Nair

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There is so much
that the world doesn’t care for.
If we were to care for every thing that
has caused pain to every person,
we may never have been able to live happily
ever in our life.
And there would be a black fog
of borrowed sadness, that will be
the only thing we breathe.
We may cry a few tears of sympathy,
but after those few minutes
we live our life, as we have done till now.
It’s the only thing we can do.
Though it may seem selfish,
but I guess it is both tragic and good
that the cries and scream of this world
never break through
the bubble of our own happiness.
And our own sadness and joy
is bound by our own bubble.

Like Us

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“Like us, these are complex and contradictory people, down on their luck, simply trying their best in a world that, too often, doesn’t care.”

George Saunders

“A Rare Love” – Nayana Nair

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Today, I was reminded of
a fading memory
of a rather idle summer afternoon,
of me sitting on floor
in the living room
with people who loved me
and people whom I loved.
Between whom, ‘love’ word was never spoken aloud;
for whom ‘love’ was not to be taken lightly.
The rare love that didn’t demand commitment,
promises and responsibility.

flowerheart
The lightness of that afternoon,
the lightness of that love,
when we saw the same movie for nth time
laughed on same repeated jokes,
(the jokes I don’t remember),
that lightness was enough to keep us
from growing old for a long long time;
enough to assure us
that we have someone who cares.
And though we feared we would loose what we have,
today is a day much similar to that
and we are still the same.
That makes me smile.

“I can’t hear your sighs” – Nayana Nair

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I can’t hear your sighs

while you think I do not care enough.

I would love to bind myself and my life

around you,

Had I not been so sure

that freedom is the only measure of happiness for me.

kji

The love they talk about

is not in my heart.

I can’t harbor such sweetness.

I can’t live in surrender.

I was not made for that.

My heart was not made to be loved,

but to be cherished.

I won’t settle for anything less.

I do not ask for anything more.

kji

My idea of love was never

the protection or sense of safety I always lacked.

Or admiration true or false

that could put to sleep the complexes I have.

Or to be touched in ways

that make human hearts race.

kji

My idea of love was

to be so precious to someone

that they you never

change me or break me.

kji

You changed me.

You broke me.

And I only remember the sighs you took while doing so.

Making me feel less than what I am.

kji

But still, I breathe the same air as you,

Cause,

Once,

You almost loved me.

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