“Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair

In her loudest, happiest voiceshe told me aboutone of her near-death loves,how she wished her skinwould stop keeping her alive.She laughed at how we bothalways find something awfully painful or ugly in common,how we should probably never call each otherjust to remind each other of the spitethat lives in our blood. I moved her lacklusterContinue reading ““Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair”

“Eventual Fall” – Nayana Nair

She just laughed and said“you are not really intelligent,you know that right?”as she packed her bag,making space for her only notebook, with difficulty.I wonder if she really needs all those the things.She is not a careful person,I know that because her list of priorities is horizontal-everything is important, everything is equally dispensable.I hear a songContinue reading ““Eventual Fall” – Nayana Nair”

“Eavesdrop” – Nayana Nair

From my empty room,from the edge of my personal cliff,I looked into the windows of strangers,looked over their shoulder at texts they write,looked at the pages where their bookmark rests,silently waited at the edge of my chairtrying to overhear responses to the big questions. And all I have known by prying so hardis that thereContinue reading ““Eavesdrop” – Nayana Nair”

“My place in this cruel landscape” – Nayana Nair

when i stood in front of the respected uncaring adultswho could never see me, beside the fickle-minded fun-seeking friendswho smoked ‘idgaf attitude’ every night, holding the handsof the demanding demeaning frightening voiceof the one i wanted to love,the one i almost loved, i knew how to smile.i knew how to let them off the hook.iContinue reading ““My place in this cruel landscape” – Nayana Nair”

“Less Than Half” – Nayana Nair

The moment I pass any door a part of my brain whispers- too many people, watch you step and watch your tongue, lest you want to be branded as one of those women that you are are and aren’t at the same time. For if you are not careful enough you will soon believe everythingContinue reading ““Less Than Half” – Nayana Nair”

“Poster” – Nayana Nair

I thought I would only have one poster when I decided to clearly define what I am. I stuck it up only after careful consideration. Consideration of the space it takes. Consideration of the how much I am allowed to grow. Condsideration for the things that will be hidden away and lost under the layerContinue reading ““Poster” – Nayana Nair”

“Other ‘Almost’s” – Nayana Nair

Sometimes you find me the words that I am too tired to look for. And place it in my hand with such careful touch, that I feel I could almost cry. And that too will be added to the list of other ‘almost’s that my life has lived through. These moments become a house standingContinue reading ““Other ‘Almost’s” – Nayana Nair”