“What I Remember (29)” – Nayana Nair

At a bus stand in front of mall (that I have never been to)I learnt how to wait and how to live with disappointmentswithout making a big deal of it. In the bracket of an hour, I grew smaller than I ever thought I could be.“this is what love does to you, this is whatContinue reading ““What I Remember (29)” – Nayana Nair”

“Living some sort of life” – Nayana Nair

His face lit upwith the death of every colorful explosion in the sky.He hates this sky on other days(among other things).Today he loves it, this darkness,this crowd, even me.(Maybe not me,but it doesn’t mean anything to me now.But in moments like thisI am reminded of the “me” who would have wanted his loveor at leastContinue reading ““Living some sort of life” – Nayana Nair”

“piano” – Nayana Nair

years from nowi hope my living roomhas a space for a lovely piano.i hope my fingerswould play something beautiful on it.that here i would smileand not know of the passing time.that i would learn to love my wallsas much as the world that stands on the other side.as my child misses me, cries for me,triesContinue reading ““piano” – Nayana Nair”

“Half-Hearted” – Nayana Nair

And every morning I hear wind, I hear birds,I hear children play around in me.I am filling myselfwith everything that reminds me of what I really am.I let my heart do what it wants, my heart wants no part in this remaking of me.It starts it’s days praying for your returnand goes to sleep, thankfulContinue reading ““Half-Hearted” – Nayana Nair”

“Precious” – Nayana Nair

A pane breakssomewhere far away.Everyone precious to mestays there-this place called ‘far away’.So these things I must record,these things I must remember “it could have been a stranger”,I try to reason.But it is of no avail.I am afraid that the life broken just now,must be too close to mefor my heart to bleed so,for myContinue reading ““Precious” – Nayana Nair”

“Rainbows and Reflection” – Nayana Nair

I always thoughtthat I could be happy,really happy,forever happy,if only I could make myself love happiness. Though I approached this strange kid,though I pretended to be good and as holy as humans can be,I had nothing to say this ever smiling child.All the standard stories I had prepared for this heavy choreof presenting myself toContinue reading ““Rainbows and Reflection” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (12)” – Nayana Nair

hailstones.that’s what i remember.when the stones fellonto the already breaking roofs of our class,the girl who sat three rows aheadstopped reading.everyone who was busy day dreaming,who had shut their ears to every useless fact that we come to learn,knew how to listen to this,to this violence that could hurt but won’t. i sat there listening,wonderingContinue reading ““What I Remember (12)” – Nayana Nair”

“Estranged” – Nayana Nair

when you slipped into my arms and tried to tell me stories in your broken language, when you got all your numbers wrong, when you touched my face with your tiny hands, i almost forgot that you are not mine. i shouldn’t have.

“What I Remember(8)”- Nayana Nair

when i see my past pain in your tears now come here, come inside and cry how much ever you want. we don’t want the neighbors to know how much worse we are doing than them. trust me dear, it does no one good if you go around with these puffed eyes and cracking voice.Continue reading ““What I Remember(8)”- Nayana Nair”

“Keeping Distance” – Nayana Nair

All my sketches of you are living in a hopeless state of growing hunger, growing questions. I hear them talking to each other, asking your whereabouts. I have grown to become a mother of many children abandoned by her man. Children who are forced to share a life with me while struggling to keep aContinue reading ““Keeping Distance” – Nayana Nair”