and the me that i was, that you hated once, but not as much what i am right now
and your rough sketch of me that looks like bits and pieces of your past lovers
and your ticking clock, both waiting for me to change
and you habit of making me wait, of walking out on me
and your empty seat that you have already forgotten
with your air of arrogance that i pretend not to see for the sake of loving you
and your smile that sometimes (most of the times) have nothing to do with me
and your calls out of blue, calling me love, calling me heartless, throwing me away and calling me back,
and your words, your voice always asking for more
and your insistence of loving in past and hating in present
and your love that wants never to be associated with me
and your cruelty of always forgetting (only) me, forgetting the hurt you cause
asking me to love you back in spite of all, asking me to speak only in sweet words, never asking me how i made it through the pain you gave me last time, never wondering what do i want out of this love, that has no place for me
Tag Archives: cruelty
every red flower
that couldn’t bloom,
that was denied a spring,
now grows inside us.
we breathe to keep them alive
so their sky remains blue
and they might know
what tomorrow means.
there is a weight on our tiny shoulders
to carry voices that were once locked in vacuum,
to do everything right,
to build greenhouses by our words and intention.
but we don’t need broad strong shoulders
to carry this weight, to keep this valley alive.
we only need to unlearn
every cruelty we have ever been taught.
Slowly I hear
a flood, a riot, a madness of people
rushing towards me.
Their voices turning from
to name calling.
Their anger pulling triggers
real and imaginary.
I hear a silence in the world
that looks at me
and tell me a list of things I did wrong
to deserve this.
They look for a reason to forget the existence
of people like me
whose broken pieces remind them
of their own cruelty.
And soon they run to another direction
finding someone to bully.
But many a times, one of them looks back,
helps me get back on my feet.
And now I do not know
how to hate them.
I fear my hate will make me one of them.
How proud we should be to be human.
How proud indeed.
How civilized we are, to kill each other when given a chance.
How learned we are, to destroy anything that is different from us.
These pages of history that we have left mark on.
and these pages of today that we read each morning.
They tell a story.
Story of the terrors that we put in each other’s heart.
Of the power we feel at the helplessness of others.
Of how we beat humanity out of ourselves and others.
Of how people survive the crimes, that were once not seen as crimes.
Of being drunk on power and false idea of invincibility.
It is not a story of prejudices and hatred
fueled by differences; promoted personal gains.
They are not isolated incidents of few insane people.
This is a repeated history of everywhere,
Of people who don’t allow other’s to live a life of dignity.
It is a story of what we are.
Of how quickly we forget.
How calmly we live,
Knowing, but not caring
About hundreds of lives like ours,
being trampled by someone like us.
We humans. How proud indeed we should be.
As you all walked
To your homes, to your love
To where the crowd takes you.
With love and hatred
And worries in your minds.
With life still in your veins.
I sat there, up above,
Looking down at you,
Oblivious of me, of him.
Of the knots that tightened
Around his neck each second.
While he saw everyone, even himself
Wrenching away from his grasp
The only life he would ever have.
I looked at him beside me
And looked at you down below.
And wondered whether anyone of you
Will remember his face,
Will know his life.
Maybe your hostile glance
Was the last nail that
Broke open his heart.
Someone like you planted that seed
Of self-hatred in him long ago.
I looked at his cuts and bruises
And thoughts of the nights he wrestled
With his thoughts and deeds
He wouldn’t confide nor confess.
As if he was the ant that was
Crushed beneath your boots.
And I wonder, how many other
Were still getting crushed.
Sitting there on that rooftop
With my friend
With stars above my head
And humanity below.
I saw him fall
Fall down in to the darkness.
And I cried as I lost my friend.
And he cried as he lost himself.