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Tag Archives: dread

“Sidestep” – Nayana Nair

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The colors that have drained
from the dreams of people,
lie cluttered on the doorway
of their homes.
Everytime they try to leave
for something more practical
and more safe life, that they chose,
that awaits them everyday
and does not keep them worrying
about what all they can loose.
Everytime they step out,
even in hurry,
they sidestep that clutter.
Look at it from the corner of their eyes
and for a second their heart seems aware
of the frost that is killing it.
For a second the reasons for the
sleepless night and blank gazes is recalled.
But the limbs keep moving
to keep a distance from hopes
that never materialize.
On their way back home
they dread to see
the clutter of discarded dreams.
But they want to believe
that ignoring and forgetting it
becomes easier with time.
Although it never has.

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“Soon” – Nayana Nair

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There is a thought

that holds my hands

sometimes to save me from drowning,

sometimes to drag me down.

The thought that

all you say

and all I say

will be part of all the noise

that this world has already lost.

This world that had witnessed us together

will soon forget us.

And we won’t feel a thing a that time,

however we may dread that day right now.

“What I do best” – Nayana Nair

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There is a fierce calmness
that holds me together
even when I think
that I will fall apart.
Seems like falling apart
is not that easy
for those who lived in pieces
that they never knew they had.
So I will turn deaf
to the words of love
that presumes that it knows me.
So I will kill time
with preaching words of self-love
that I struggle with everyday.
I will fill myself with the stars above
And I will learn to live
and learn to die.
And wait with dread
for the day I’ll feel complete.
I don’t want to be complete.
I know how to be broken.
Being broken is what I do best.

“Footsteps we left behind” – Nayana Nair

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How unaware we are
of the dreaded future,
how close it lurks.
And how our tragedies
step over out footsteps
that we left behind
when we tried to flee it.
How in the most unsuspicious moment
it will grab us, till we know of nothing but pain.
How beautiful is each minute
in which I evade the pain
that I deserve.

“CROSSROADS”-Nayana Nair

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I see myself sitting at the crossroads of life.

Scorched under the sun of reality.

Its heat is part indifference

to my existence and my ways.

And part a mocking laughter

at where I have led myself.

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This defeat is not about

smashed dreams or tears of loss.

Just an echo of a sound

that has left my heart.

Just a face I know, I see,

But can never be.

It’s not the loss of illusion

that shielded me from what I am.

The dread that whatever life may give me.

It can never give me back the illusion of control,

belief that I can be whatever I want to be,

when I didn’t want to be me.

When I saw myself as amalgamation

of all life’s mistakes and faults.

The biggest attraction in the exhibition

of ‘live’s gone wrong and people gone astray’.

Yet ,I yearn to be the failure I once was.

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Once I saw myself sitting at crossroads of life.

Begging people to love me.

Begging for a glance.

Begging to make me believe in myself.

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Today, I see myself sitting at the crossroads.

Begging people to give me back what I was.

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