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“Let me sell you a story” – Nayana Nair

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Let me sell you a story.
A lie
that my hollow life could live in.
A home that can be changed to my need.
A reality that never exists,
but is as real as
the stories,
the lives
that we avoided by one choice.
Let me sell you a story,
let me sell you my dreams.
I have no need for them anyway.

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“Flowers, skies and me” – Nayana Nair

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I place myself in the center of room
as you panic to pack up your stuff,
being careful that nothing is left behind.
There are flowers growing in the corners of the room
that ask you to stay.
There are green skies
that we painted.
There are flaws your and mine
that decorate this wall.
There are TV channels
that we can surf through,
there are days to be wasted.
And I want to waste them with you.

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I want you to stay.
I almost blurt it out.
But had it not been for these flowers and skies
and days written in color of your name,
I could have left
to find the dreams I never had.
There is a chandelier
of blood red glass
of your sighs and goodbyes.
I know you are not running away from me
but from our devils,
from our destruction,
that lay between us
every night.

“Be You” – Nayana Nair

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Oh! Let me be you.
Who walks with a sun in your pocket
for every rainy day.
Who stood at crossroads
and decided which road shouldn’t exist.
Let me be you for a day.
So that I am not the one
who hides in hollow words,
who makes her bed on the dreams of others.
Let me be you,
so that I can put out my hand
always with the confidence
knowing that the love I ask
shall be given.

But what is this that I feel?
Why my hands shake?
Why my heart cries?

Is it because
the one who is breaking the wall
with bare bleeding hands
has the same pain, same fear
as the one who is hiding behind that wall.
Is it because
this love, this life
leaves no one without scar.

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“Co-exist” – Nayana Nair

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While the rest of the rooms
were sleeping in cold,
cradling the mere humans
who could only do so much
as to ignore the present,
dreaming of summers,
that which in their deepest heart
they had no much love for either.
But mind has always been
a place to escape to,
when we were not escaping from problems
but from our self.

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I sat at
the dark narrow stairs,
that led to nowhere particular,
that were almost always flooded with light.
I was lucky to have had that.
To have a place where
the fresh rays of cold sun
and my warm agitated heart
coud co-exit,
without destroying each other.
I could only do so much
as to forget myself and my life
feel what cold is,
to know I was (un)lucky to have this.
To have so much comforts
that I cannot complain of my pain.
But irrespective of these comforts
I would still rot away.

“What next?” – Nayana Nair

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I never wish to wake up
to face this world
that always demands that I must dream.
And these dreams need to be big enough,
must require effort,
must involve sacrifice,
or at the least be tangible or materialistic.
And I feel something must be wrong with me
to know
that the only thing I want
is to be everyday like this.
Where each day I don’t have to decide
“What next?”
But rather live today where I am
and be tomorrow where fate takes me.
I could never plan for the years to come.
I never knew I would live this long.

“CARPET” -Nayana Nair

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On the 8’x10′ beige carpet that you chose

We lie together, spooning.

Of all the possibilities I had for myself

Never was this a part.

Never had I thought of a caressing hand

Holding me together.

Of eyes filled with passion

Transfixed on me.

Of another skin , this close to mine.

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And slowly your grips tightens.

You hold me down.

Hold me captive in a heart so dear to me.

And I see all my dreams in front of me.

Are you making them come true?

Or are they leaking out of me?

Through the cracks made by strikes

Of your once loving hands.

Is their fading away their

Last goodbye to me?

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But it’s a loss I can live with.

Tell me your dreams,

To fill the spaces that mine occupied.

Or tell me of a way to get mine back

Without having to leave you.

Tell me of love, your love.

Let my heart be consoled by that.

Tell me of how I once was,

Before you. I can’t remember,

Do you?

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Kiss me, remind me

Why we are here?

Can you lessen my pain?

Can you free me?

You smile.

Of course, you can.

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So I close my eyes and wait.

Wait patiently for my release.

I wait till I feel

The blade on my neck

And your breath on my back.

So this is love, isn’t it?

A slow death.

A silent wait.

Dripping blood

And a red carpet.

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