RSS Feed

Tag Archives: emptiness

“What I Remember (13)” – Nayana Nair

i did all that i must do
and now no one asks me what’s next.
thankfully,
no one burdens me with with their dreams anymore.
i am no longer a possible candidate for the worst,
for taking over the misfortune of my mother’s life.
i no longer have to worry about hurting my parents by
being like them or living like them.
thankfully,
what bothers me, what eats me up
is nothing that would keep anyone else awake
and that is important.

in spite of this emptiness i write about
and this loneliness that seems bigger than this world,
all this do not stop me
from laughing at jokes, craving for food that i shouldn’t eat,
dreaming of another broken love with my only lover,
from having a good time – that i will conveniently forget.
nothing i cry about, no ailing that lives in me
is too large to stop me from living.

i guess i carry an instability in my genes.
if my eyes are in the color of sadness,
i guess i got it from my parents.
and they are lovely people who somehow raised me right
in spite of having a tendency to mess up things
and their sadness with life.

tomorrow i will probably hate them frequently again
but they will nag at me when i reach home drenched in rain,
will tell me sit straight and force me to eat what will keep me alive,
will ask me to keep my phone down,
and sleep a little bit more.

they will not ask what’s wrong and that will disappoint me,
but they will let me do what i want to do (sometimes)
and they will try their best not to wrong me.
they will wish for my happiness,
even if they have no idea what makes me happy
and that is important.

because though i lived my extended teenage
believing that i had no one,
but it was not true.
i saw no one
and it is my fault.
even when i thought i was not loved
they have loved me silently.
though it was a tiring love,
it knew no end.

“December Moon” – Nayana Nair

I could no longer taste
the nameless fruit
that I held in my hand,
that I hid in my mouth a moment ago.
I fled from one home to another.
I sewed my heart to another
even when it pained.
I tried to find myself back,
pry out my heart from the cage of love
even when I was happy.
I wanted to miss someone.
I wanted to call out a name,
so that my life may not feel empty.
Since I had many names on my lips,
I came to know that the emptiness of my life
came not from the lack of people I loved
but by the lack of people who treasured me back.
So I let the fruit fall to ground.
I let my hunger gnaw at the my own skin.
I forced myself to think of myself,
by hurting myself,
by asking myself to forget.

“Inside our bones” – Nayana Nair

bc0d887376fb64166e3aab6114da9342

The cup of emptiness that we want to taste
but we never make.
That blue winter inside our bones.
It is not empty nor cold.
It if full of all our fears.
It has face of all we have lost
and all that can be lost.
And it grows everyday
by huge proportions.
It grows as much
as we grow small.

Tittle Thoughts

Discussions on life influences and travels

Colțul Cultural

repaus cu cap

RyanPhotography

Images brought to you by Bren and Ashley Ryan

Yelling Rosan Blogi

Sanoja, kuvia, ääniä

littleblackdogsa

We Blog Here!!

breezes at dawn

the breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you... ~ Rumi

Tialys

Life and Creativity in the South of France

Giving Voice to My Astonishment

Observing, Gathering, Gleaning, Sharing

Gardening Nirvana

Sharing my journey in and out of the garden

Wild Daffodil

the joy of creativity

arlingwords

Gardens, food, and local pleasures

A Suffolk Lane

A diary of my life in rural north Suffolk.

priorhouse blog

Photos, art - and a little bit of LIT.

Café Philos: an internet café

A blog dedicated to the joy and adventure of thinking (and often spiced with humor).

onthepathleasttraveled

Being different.....

Riverside Peace

🦋 The Official Website of Australian Writer Chrissy Siggee

Coffee and Creatures

A fun animal blog for when you’re inhaling those fumes.

Nina Bell & The Feathertales

Asleep at the wheel, but awake in my dreams....