“The door opens slowly” – Nayana Nair

I turned another cornerand walked into another housethat I knew nothing about.The owner, the god of this land stood thereoutside in the gardentelling a child how to create more beautiful loops,how to somersault,how to find more worms, more of everything.An adult placed like a talismanthat couldn’t keep meor what I bring with me away.He didn’tContinue reading ““The door opens slowly” – Nayana Nair”

“Wedding Photos” – Nayana Nair

It was like magicrunning the highlighter, the bright crayonover the sepia hands of her.She didn’t complain or cryas we ruined another photograph of hers,as we tried to hide the evidenceof her failed love, our failing life. We cut her out, moved her awayfrom the one who looked like us.We placed her side of story, herContinue reading ““Wedding Photos” – Nayana Nair”

“The eyes of my mother” – Nayana Nair

I planted the idea of a happy family,a happy tomorrow,into the eyes of my motherwith breaking tips of my pencilsagainst her granite eye lashes. I told her the story about the boywho is ever so sadbecause his parents didn’t care enough,who weeps on his empty birthdays,who weeps into my heart.I tell her I am notContinue reading ““The eyes of my mother” – Nayana Nair”

“My grief has my face” – Nayana Nair

My grief has my face.My grief has only questions in her eyes-questions that require me to cryand accept the cruel face of the love I have got.My grief instead gets my silent embrace,my refusal to choose better, for her sake or mine.My grief has my faceand my heart that only knows defeatand only in defeatContinue reading ““My grief has my face” – Nayana Nair”

“the knot in my heart is one year old now” – Nayana Nair

a library of all my rolesstands in the middle of my heart.i have placed your face as the title ofthis poem that i am going to drown.i lie on the beautiful lake of loveand press my ears, waitingto hear your last breath in my world.

“Living some sort of life” – Nayana Nair

His face lit upwith the death of every colorful explosion in the sky.He hates this sky on other days(among other things).Today he loves it, this darkness,this crowd, even me.(Maybe not me,but it doesn’t mean anything to me now.But in moments like thisI am reminded of the “me” who would have wanted his loveor at leastContinue reading ““Living some sort of life” – Nayana Nair”

“All the boxes are checked” – Nayana Nair

It hurts a bit more naturallyand less violently,now that betrayal has a range,has not one but many faces.Now I need not figure what I did wrong. All the boxes are checked: family, family, friends, not friends,thank-god-we-were-never-friends friends,i-am-sad-i-stood-up-for-you friends,people who marked my skin with their nameto own mewhile i slept in their arms(another golden cup addedContinue reading ““All the boxes are checked” – Nayana Nair”

“I don’t want to be right anymore” – Nayana Nair

I wonder‘me being right’at what point of time it became synonymousto finding out that his heart is empty-my name washed out by the waves of the other girl.The girl whom he swore is not his type.“I was right”, I said as my hand trembled with anger and then fearas I waited for the reply, forContinue reading ““I don’t want to be right anymore” – Nayana Nair”

“I always fall behind” – Nayana Nair

All the lights that were meant to light the way,end up looking like spotlights fragmenting the world.Fragments so beautifulthat I never bothered with moving towards the place I was meant to go;that I sit here, saying goodbye to peoplewho hope to see me wherever they will end up at. But we won’t be seeing eachContinue reading ““I always fall behind” – Nayana Nair”

“The more I walk, the smaller my world becomes” – Nayana Nair

What am I leaving behind that I force myself to smile only because it hurts? What am I leaving behindthat I hear my voice calling out to myself day and night? Being saved, being lovedis the ending I cannot accept for myself.Not anymore. Whom have I hurt so badlythat all I want is – toContinue reading ““The more I walk, the smaller my world becomes” – Nayana Nair”