Feeling the cold metal at her neck
In the cramped up space where she sat,
She looked out of the window, with her mind
Far way from what reached her eyes.
Reflecting, how foolish she had always been,
Foolish for believing people without any doubt,
To hold onto them even if they hurt her,
To accept people for who they are but never accept herself.
To have let go of her esteem for them,
To have thought that they’d value her, a fraction of how much she did.
And she thought of everything
She had done that led her to this day,
Where people saw her as someone not worth respecting,
For each time she would let go of her pride.
Not worth the effort, for she won’t demand it,
Not worth the love, cause she didn’t deserve it.
But as she cried at all the hurt,
The shame, the loss and herself.
With her hand held open
Waiting for a hand to hold it.
She turned her back to the past
That haunted her, that hurt her
To look at him, beside her.
And she remembered how she’d
Been more of a fool for him than anyone.
How she was foolish to make
Someone centre of her life,
To love someone more than herself.
For a girl who couldn’t bear
The scars of betrayed little affections,
How could she hope to survive
The love that’d shatter her.
For she knew
She was nothing and could mean nothing to anyone.
So how could she mean something to him?
That if everyone saw her as a liar
How could she expect him to believe her?
That she’d lost herself the moment she chose love above respect
How could she expect him to embrace her and take pride in her?
For she knew
What she was
She was just a fool.
But in spite of knowing this
She accepted the love she’d found.
For a moment she found meaning to live,
And she felt glad to be there
And to have known what her life could have been,
To have felt his love,
To have known that she’ll always be loved.
Anything else didn’t matter
For being foolish was her virtue
That led her to him.
And when she felt the warmth of his hands in hers
And saw him smile through all his pain,
She could see that he felt he was foolish to be there,
He was her foolishness,
And she was his.
With the same insecurities in his heart,
He chose to love her as long as he can.
As long as his soul could bear this pain.
As long as his heart could love.
As long as she would love him back.
So they’ll stay together as long as their stupidity allowed.