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“Blue of our Minds” – Nayana Nair

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The strip of land
that lies in the midst
of the blue of our minds.
There
shall we sit face to face and talk.

We could talk of many things
you could tell me
how your hands throw away
every trinkets and prize,
only because they don’t feel as
you thought they would in your hands.
How they are too heavy on your soul
that doesn’t want to be dragged down.
How they are just things that can be lost
and are found again and again
by hands that will surely loose them again.
And you don’t actually care where they end up.

I could tell you
of my world
where all of these cold things
that your hand detest
have kept me alive,
where my hands brush away
care of others
because I am calculating
which piece of myself I would have to give away
as the cost of the kindness.
(Yes, every kindness has a cost,
even if it is never demanded.)
Because everything that has a warm heart
has a furnace of fire inside
that burns everyone equally.

But I am here sitting opposite you
and I am ready to get my heart broken.
Trust me when I say-
It takes a lot to break me.
And only when it comes to you,
I am not looking for an easy way out.

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“Playlist” – Nayana Nair

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I go through my playlist,
looking for all the songs
that like-crazed people
have written for me and
for lonely nights as these.
This voice of stranger that sings my pain
takes me back to this same bed
and same sorrow
somewhere in the past that I want to loose.
Someone sits beside me yet again.
And this weight
is as frightening
as comforting.
To know that the spirits of the nights
that I have killed
are again here,
to take away a friend of theirs.

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On nights like these,
I prefer the company
of sad cries that people call songs,
of walking memories that people call ghost.

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“Stories about me” – Nayana Nair

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There have been numerous accounts
of my failing life
and the reasons of my silence.
And these stories never cease to surprise me.
From time to time
I find the people in my life
have had a story about me
all along
that even I was not aware of.
Their uncalled kindness
and their uncalled cruelty
all had an explanation.
Explanations that had nothing to do with me.
In everyone’s heart their is someone by my name.
They have put me in colors
when I always was in grays.
I find
I never had a friend.
And I find them lonely
just like me,
when I look at the people
I have colored myself.

“Adjective”- Nayana Nair

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He may have thought
that I looked self-obsessed,
which I am.
She may have thought
that I am bitter with life,
which is true.
My friend once thought I am cold.
Now she believes I am kind.
She was wrong then.
She is wrong now.
For all the adjective that they
they found to replace me
were either misleading
or unnecessary.
None of those words were me.
But they don’t know how to define me,
categorize me,
love me
without those words.

As Life Runs On….

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As life runs on, the road grows strange
With faces new, and near the end
The milestones into headstones change,
’Neath every one a friend.

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-James Russell Lowell

“Won’t you?”- Nayana Nair

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I have nothing to talk to you,

my friend.

I have hundred things that make me cry at this moment.

There are moments in my life that fill me with joy,

that makes my life seem worth living,

that you do not know of .

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But I have nothing to say to you.

You are still my friend,

but I feel we exist in different world.

My world consists of only me.

And your world has no place

for the silence that I speak in.

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But I can’t tell you that.

I don’t want to lose you.

You may not know me now.

I may not know you too.

We are holding he hands of our past selves.

But you know it already,

don’t you?

But love me still, like I love you.

Won’t you?

“Gift of an Afternoon”- Nayana Nair

 

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Years from now, on a dull June afternoon,

I picture you, in an unknown time and place.

Sitting by a window, in world distant and new,

and for a moment at the sky you’ll gaze.

 

And if your mind will wander away,

through the narrow and dusty road of past.

In the memories of people and their ways,

in the moments that drifted away so fast.

 

In the list of regrets, dreams and hopes,

In the summing up of life’s losses and gain.

In the people you’ve hurt by the words you spoke,

in the love you gave and in return got pain.

 

In those crowd of memories of wrong and right,

if for a moment I pass your thought,

if for that second you miss my voice, my sight,

and see what we were, are and what we sought.

 

Smile at those meaningless musings and jokes,

and miss those moment of bliss, sorrow and love,

and if suddenly life drags you to reality,

and you’ll forget me till another dull noon.

 

That will be your biggest gift to me,

for in the life I won’t longer be a part of,

if you’ll think of me for a second or two,

and if my memory stays somewhere in you.

 

I will be happy in these little moments,

for you’ll be lead back to me in these thoughts.

For, these moments of reminiscence

are all that matters and all that counts.

 

And never forget, that in another world,

by another window, another desk,

will be a girl who’ll look at the same sky,

and gift some moments thinking of you.

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