“Far Enough to be Fine” – Nayana Nair

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I could probably have called it a blue morning
waiting through each hour for the day to gift it back its colors.
Or a white one where our eyes and the air are filled with
a whiteness that is never stained,
for it leaves as soon as it comes,
for it never comes in touch with the world,
just moves around it.
Is that the way we should have lived our life?
If we existed together, moving around each other,
maybe we wouldn’t have to look at each others brokeness like this.
You tell me it is a dirty gray morning that we are never going to forget.
And I almost curse myself
for not getting that right color on my lips before you did.
But I stop myself by reminding
that goodbyes like these should not be filled with the same mistakes
as the ones that filled our time together.
We wait for the beams of light and for the screech of tyres on road,
that takes you away, masking your last words to me
in the jarring sound of honks.
I make my way back to the gray life
that was always waiting for me.

If you looked back at me through that moving car,
through your healing heart,
when we are far enough to be fine,
would you see me as the defeated person I always was?

“Cover your eyes” – Nayana Nair

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Cover your eyes
with heartfelt goodbyes,
as they drift into a world
away from your cries.

blueflower

Doubt not.
Their love was true.
They forgave you for crimes
not known to you.

blueflower

But a heart is a heart
and it tires out someday
and it hurts them to leave
though they might not say.

blueflower

So when they leave you
with heart full of guilt
and eyes full of your last glimpse.
Do not let them hear
your requests to stay.
Do not let them see
the helplessness in your eyes.

blueflower

Cover your eyes
with heartfelt goodbyes,
with cheerful laughter
and hope that they find
whatever they are after.

goodbye