RSS Feed

Tag Archives: grandpa

“IF I COULD LOVE” -Nayana Nair

Posted on

download

 

It was so sad to see him like that.

He had shrunk so much, so tiny, his eyes always remain almost closed. He cannot even sit up to eat, has no strength left. He  cannot identify people, he’s calling out different people names in random way so much, that now people have stopped responding to his calls. He cannot sleep without pills anymore. Things were that bad.

When I saw him I thought of all that he had done for me when I was small.  But these are things that I know,  not what I remember. I know what he has done, I know what I should feel, but sadly I don’t .

If only I could feel and remember all that he was once to me, If only I could feel the love for him that he deserves. But it can’t be.

I see myself, sitting beside him on a chair talking random things to him, reading him stories, poems. That is maybe something that should have happened, probably happening in some parallel world but not here.

He is not that type of man, even if we assume that he was sane enough to be able to understand what I am saying. We were never on same page. Maybe we were, but something changed, that drove me so far from him, maybe I realized what he was, maybe I realized what I was, and realized things will never be same. How long can we pretend .

But when I saw him so weak, so powerless and vulnerable, I wanted to feel that love for him that I know wasn’t there in my heart. images2V3F7IR8

(for my Grandpa)

Wayward Armie

A blog on culture + finding our authentic self within it

The Wandering Armadillo

I am the "little armored one", moving gently through life. Hoping to safeguard my sensitivities with layers of words and the expression of thought. Shielding my mirror neurons at times, or tasting music and spinning till I'm dizzy. Every moment here is a gift.

sherazade2011

Con te conversando, dimentico ogni tempo e le stagioni e i loro mutamenti: tutte mi piacciono allo stesso modo. (Milton)

Evaporata

Non voglio sognare, voglio dormire.

lillian the home poet

rejuvenatement - not retirement

Fmme writes poems

This is a space for me to write, share my words and play with poetry. You are very welcome here.

Boomdeeadda

Life, Art and Other Bits

koolkosherkitchen

Welcome to my Kool Kosher Kitchen where food is fun and fun is to create food!

Mama Cormier

.... my journey to a healthy life, making new memories and so much more

Colonialist's Blog

The general journal of a normal nutter playing with words (in awful rhyme a lot of the time), music and pictures, and having the occasional rant.

A Dalectable Life

The little and large things making my life delicious!

Notes From the Hinterland

A blog about nature, home, community, books, writing, the environment, food, and rural life.

Tales for Life

Some stories just need to be told: healing and wholeness in everyday life

Londonsenior

The life of an elderly Londoner and her travels.

anotherdayinparadise

Travels in Paradise

Where to next?

Riding in cars with dogs

World in your eyes

People, Years, Life in photo. Travel impressions. Daily life.

Widdershins Worlds

WRITING LESBIAN FICTION, SCIENCE FICTION, AND FANTASY, SINCE THE 20TH CENTURY

jodie richelle

embracing my inner homemaker