“Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair

In her loudest, happiest voiceshe told me aboutone of her near-death loves,how she wished her skinwould stop keeping her alive.She laughed at how we bothalways find something awfully painful or ugly in common,how we should probably never call each otherjust to remind each other of the spitethat lives in our blood. I moved her lacklusterContinue reading ““Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (27)” – Nayana Nair

i think this suits me most-to lose myselfand yet look okay.god gave me a face that always looks okayeven when i don’t want it to.(there have been only handful of dayswhen i want to look as miserable i am.) i wonder how it feelsto say“do i look broken today yet?“i cried all night”.i have neverContinue reading ““What I Remember (27)” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (26)” – Nayana Nair

I covered up myself up-hiding the pieces,hiding the glue,hiding the knife close to my heart.There is too little timeand so much to be disposed,so much has to be kept at the bottom of the stairs,under the sheets,under the hand that cupped my faceso that no one could say with certaintywhether I am laughing or cryingContinue reading ““What I Remember (26)” – Nayana Nair”

“Small Impossible Dream” – Nayana Nair

Her floor had always been the color of the seasonI remember this, only when I step into the mess of her life.The spring issues lay scattered like the flowersThe pink, red, yellows, and greens,women who only know youth,women who only grow youngerthe kind of woman she wanted to be(what a small impossible dream)and she almostContinue reading ““Small Impossible Dream” – Nayana Nair”

“green carol” – Nayana Nair

it takes only a second forthe children singing carols on my porch in green mufflersto run around and burn the beach,burying their favorite flavor of ice creamin the sandcastle meant to be some sort of time capsule.when i was young i didn’t have such powers.like themi could neither summon the seasonsnor walk towards them.being theContinue reading ““green carol” – Nayana Nair”

“Anomaly of the Art Class” – Nayana Nair

I row my heartto the moon you drew,the one you colored in greenignoring every reality,for which you got an D,for which I lost a part of me. I no longer hold onto the poems filled with dread-dread of rejection, of future, of finding myself eventually broken.I see something that you have left behind in me.SomethingContinue reading ““Anomaly of the Art Class” – Nayana Nair”

“a proper life” – Nayana Nair

the metal melts on my tongue.this must be the fever that everyone warned me against.now i will never know how to die properly. i used up every drop i could find on this planetto make the broken trees in me grow.and there are so many, so many skeletons with stunted growth. i read we needContinue reading ““a proper life” – Nayana Nair”

“Don’t tell me” – Nayana Nair

Unlike your descriptions,the green doesn’t wait for the sun.It doesn’t know what waiting is,what the word ‘sun’ is, it doesn’t even knowthat you are the its spokesperson. I am not coming at your throat dear,it’s just that I feel, as time passesthat you see me more as that greenthan your woman. You cut my sentencesContinue reading ““Don’t tell me” – Nayana Nair”

“the giants continue to live in my dreams” – Nayana Nair

Across the streetlived the giants.The green giants-who waited for rains to cry,who waited for the night to speak. Thankfully the windows in my temporary homewere small and few.Thankfully it was always cold,that awful cold that makes you want to sleep for a long long time. So I slept and slept.I ate whatever my mother cooked.IContinue reading ““the giants continue to live in my dreams” – Nayana Nair”

“Flowers used to bloom here” – Nayana Nair

There is a wall of flowers before her.She looks at it as if they are a softer kind of firework,a firework in reverse,the colors leaving the petals, crawling deep into itself,leaving the color of the inevitable sad endingthat Nature always ends up falling for,after a series of boys who lied to her about a foreverinContinue reading ““Flowers used to bloom here” – Nayana Nair”