i wanted to say
please don’t drag my god
into your selfish quest for power.
please don’t turn my god
into a tool to manipulate mind.
but i couldn’t say those things
for my god was no longer my god,
he/she belonged to people who were ready
to accept any lie, any cruelty
to propagate their beliefs and their way of life
to protect their gods (or so they say).
so i had no choice
but to cut myself from this doctrine
of power and numbers.
not to protect my god,
but to protect my mind and myself,
to protect my faith in the endangered humanity
when all i face are the proofs of its non-existence,
when all i find are people who think shaming people
and spilling blood is god’s work.
maybe it is selfish
but i want to remember my god as someone more kinder.
Tag Archives: half-remember
i wanted to say
I have an idea of Myself.
And how often, in the unregistered intervals of time,
When thoughts of world avoided me
with as much fervor as I avoid this world.
I think of what I am,
I realize that of all the people I have deceived,
the one I fooled with perfection was myself.
When I see what I do not want to,
my mind desperately grabs onto a stray thought,
to distract me from understanding
Of what I am about to realize.
But I know this game too well
and this is not a secret that I have uncovered
for the first time in life.
It is what I half-remember in all my waking hours
and all that I know of in my sleep.
I know this lie, I have been telling myself.
But today is not the day,
to shatter my Idea of Me
with one cruel realization.
The day, when it comes,
shall be the last I breathe as me.
For I cherish this Idea
more than myself.